Lesson Learned

So yesterday at the mall, Lily learned an important lesson--if you make eye contact with a bored Santa, he'll charge.   We don't do Santa here, I've told the kids all along that it's a nice story that people like to tell at Christmas time, blah blah blah.  But that doesn't really make the holiday clown any less scary.  Lily was examining the castle set up in the middle of the mall--animatronic elves and bears, circa 1978.  Horrific.  Lily'd look at each thing, peering from behind me, and pronounce, "Well that's creepy."  Then we got to the front.  I told her there was nothing there but Santa, but she wanted to peek.  Clutching my hand, she peeped around me.  Santa saw her. 

"Why hello little girl!  Do you want to come see me?"  This was so far outside the realm of things that make ANY sense at all, that she didn't even respond.  Just stared. 
"Can I come see you?"  He started forward, holding a coloring book in front of him like someone trying to coax a wild animal to take a carrot.  Lily clutched my hand and stared.
He crouched down to her level, giving me the good view of his real mustache under his fake one.  Good look.  he offered Lily the book.  She shook her head. 
"Don't you like to color?"
"No," she squeaked (and lied).
"Would you like a candy cane?"
She relaxed "Sure." Proud moment.  I'm terrified of you, but if you give me candy, I'm yours!
He came back with the candy cane.  "So, what do you want me to bring your for Christmas?"
nothing.
"Don't you want me to bring you something?"
nothing.
"How about a dolly?  Do you want me to bring you a dolly?"
"Fine."
"Some clothes?  Puzzles?"
"I TOLD you you could just bring me a doll."
"Well I don't know what kind--A barbie?  A Bratz doll [you're supposed to be Santa, not Satan]? "
"Fine.  Bring me a Barbie."
"What else would you like?"
"Just a Barbie.  Just bring that."
"Oookay, I'll bring you that Barbie!"

I finally got her away and headed for pizza.  "You're not getting a Barbie, you know."  "That's okay.  I got a candy cane."