On with the Show!

We're going to the Washington International Horse Show on Saturday.  I told Lily tonight and she dashed off to get ready.  She came back--"Okay!  I'm ready for the horse show!"


Let's see...
tutu?  check.
magnifying glass?  check.
fairy wings? check.
fancy marabou trimmed bag?  check.
pretzel sticks? check.
pants?   not so much.

It's all subjective...subjunctive

I think most moms have at least a few moments of "I think my kid might be kinda dumb."  And we have those "My kid is a fargin' GENIUS!" moments as well.  And sometimes we get to mix it up a little...

We were in Wonderbook, the used book store that has every video ever made--even The Hair Bear Bunch--for a buck a week.  I was checking out videos and buying some books.  A Distinguished Gentleman from central casting was next to me.  My 3 kids were yapping and zipping, as they do.  I, of course, was paying as little attention as I could, keeping just aware enough to avert disaster should it become necessary (as I do).  Ben was, apparently, talking to me, because Distinguished Gentleman said, "How delightful to hear the use of the subjunctive in a young man of what, 7? 8?"

"Him?  He's 5."

"Oh my, very impressive! You clearly speak very well to him.

Now I'm totally self-conscious about my speech and trying not to say something uneddicated and trying to pay and get my kids out before I inadvertently curse or say "dude."  As I hustle everyone out, I notice that Ben is wearing his shirt both inside out AND backwards, his jeans are on backwards (yes, fly up the butt), shoes are on the wrong feet, and he has a shark stamped in the middle of his forehead.  But at least he speaks in the subjunctive. Whatever that is.

A visit to the pumpkin patch

Since Julianna was 18 months old, we've been going to Summer's Farm pumpkin patch.  So I have 8 years worth of photos of one or the other of my kids posing in front of the same copyright infringing cut outs of Magic Schoolbus characters and sitting in the same hay-filled barn.  But this year, the school trips are to Jumbo's (imagine!) and I'm not going.  My college roommate Janet invited Lily and I to come out to Elioak Farm near Ellicott City.  Not only do they have lots of critters, but they have rescued some of the old exhibits from The Enchanted Forest , one of those kinda creepy storybook lands.  They get REALLY creepy when they're abandoned, as this one was in 1989.  Anyway, the farm aquired the stuff and is restoring it and placing it around the kiddie area. 

Lily said, "Look Mommy!  Giant rats!  Let's go see them!"


The stuff just doesn't seem as sinister now that it's all cleaned up and in a clearing, you know?



But it's all about the pumpkins, in the end.



If, for whatever reason (like you're Janet or one of Lily's grandparents) you wish to see the other pics of Lily and Ian at the farm, here you go.

Kill me now...

...Julianna has a joke book.  Now, it's bad enough to have to choke out a laugh at these totally lame ass puns (from a book called, amusingly enough [more amusing than the jokes, actually {and if I had more to say, I'd go to these guys ((and does it just double after that?))}] "Squeaky Clean Jokes for Kids"), but it causes Ben to make up "jokes" based on the meter of the ones that Julianna is reading out. 

"Hey, I've got one.  What did the...can opener say to the...mmm...cereal bowl?"

"gosh, I dunno."

"Where is your...FORK!! BWAH!!" (guess what room he told that joke in)

help.

Signs it might be time to wean

"Mommy, put that nipple away.  I want the other side now."

More from Ben and a Pastafarian offering

Ben stormed off to his room, angry at Steve and I.  Soon we heard singing.  It was a looong and loose song and by the time I managed to get pen and paper to hand it was already slipping away, but part of it went a little something like this, sing along once you get the idea:

Bullets and bombs...they are a bad thing.
Guns and shooting...they are a bad thiiiing.
Bombs and bullets...they are a bad thiiing... (repeat for a while, with other "bad things" that you really, really love)
Somebody faaarted, and it was baaad.
It was Saturday niiiight
oh yeah
Or maybe noooot.
And I need to go to the baaaathroom
So so long for now...
(and he dashes into the bathroom, closes the door and sings unintelligibly for a bit.)

I'm pretty sure that was a Dead Kennedy's song.

In other news, inspired by a fellow Pastafarian, I've made Steve and I Flying Spaghetti Monster pins for our 12th anniversary.

I feel so Blessed by His Noodly Appendage to have the mad skillz needed to produce this work of Sacred Art.
Ramen.

L'Shana Tova!

...or something.  It's our first post-child Rosh Hashana when we aren't in New Jersey w/Steve's folks, so Steve helped the kids to remember it here.  Julianna and Ben wrote down their regrets, guilts, mistakes for the past year on pieces of paper and then took them to the Monocacy River and tossed them in.  Absolution through littering!







As it is written "Cast your troubles into the river and they shall be eaten by ducks."