Episode 4

In spite of the TiVo's best efforts, I got to see my ANTM, thanks to YouTube.  But maybe TiVo was right because what a boring episode.  It started with Renee letting us in on a little secret about the other girls in the house, "I feel like they don't like me."  I know, right?  In case you were just as blindsided as I, there's a helpful montage of Renee being horrible.  She decides she's going to change her attitude.  She does this by drawing a picture of Jael in a straight jacket ("but it's not buckled up, see!")  Jael being insane, is touched by the gesture.  Luckily, she didn't then go on to draw Brittany in a diaper or Natasha on a street corner.  Instead, she does this weird grooming thing and braids Brittany's hair.  Very primate.  I half expected her to pluck out a mite or two and pop it in her mouth.

So they head off to their first challenge and on the way they are pulled over by a "policeman."  Poor Natasha looks terrified.  The gig is up.  She's going back to Russia.  But, as it turns out, it's some dude who "vogues."  Just as timely as grunge rock.  He supposedly teaches them how to pose in preparation for their challenge, which is to navigate a laser maze while posing.  Brilliant preparation for modeling.  Or for the cat burglery which will support them with the whole modeling thing doesn't pan out.  The "winner" is to get an outrageously expensive diamond bracelet that would have about 11K in taxes due.  Renee interviews that hocking that baby would go a long way toward paying off her debts.  But, alas, she is the only girl who doesn't make it through in time.  Even though the vogue guy was saying, "Yeah, you want that prize don't you...but you won't get it that way! BUZZ"  Seriously.  Had it been anyone but Renee, it would have seemed really mean.  Instead?  Hilarious.  Whitney wins.  Renee sobs.  You know, honey?  I'm thinking maybe slinking through lasers and putting on makeup and posing in candy are not the most sure fire ways to pay the bills.  Just saying.  You could have flipped a LOT of burgers in this time.

Then, because Jael just had a friend die in the last episode, they do a photo shoot in which they have to pose as crime scene victims.  Niiiice.  Just like when Kahlen had to pose in a grave just after hearing a friend had died (cycle 4).  The shoot is acutally kind of cool and they all look dead, except Renee, who just looks depressed.  They try to make a deal out of Jael not being in the game, but meh.

So they eliminate Felicia, which was kind of a damned if she does, damned if she doesn' thing.  Several times in this episode I thought, "Wow, she looks JUST like Tyra."   So if she wins, it's because Tyra's such an ego maniac that she wants the girl that looks like her.  And if she elimnates her--which she did--it's because she can't stand the competition.  But anyway, she did NOT deserve to go.  Dionne is no where near as pretty.  in fact, I keep forgetting Dionne is there.  She's hot for a dentist, I'll grant.  But a model?  nah.  I had peggle Felicia as a top 3, so...I dunno.  One of the plus-ies, Brittany, and Jaslene.  Maybe Jaslene will take it.  ick.