Ben packed a duffel bag of crap to take to the Y while Julianna was in dance class. Here is what I found when he opened it when we got there:
nylon rope (about 9 ft)
flashlight
black light
listening device from a spy kit
bug vacuum
goggles
bottle of water
calculator
broken Gameboy
light saber
cat pee smell
Friday, April 27, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
R.I.F.
I've read more in the last month than I've read in the last 2 years. I used to read all the time, and then it just got hard to find the time and then other things took priority. I'd periodically try to read a book and sometimes I'd get through it and sometimes not. But lately I've been on a tear.
The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde It was recommended as a book that "made me think of you." by a couple of people, which always makes me nervous, but I gave it a whirl. It was fun. Kind of a Sue Grafton-meets-Douglas Adams thing. I enjoyed it, but am unlikely to read the others in the series as the heroine just didn't grab me as one I want to spend more time with. So, I can see why others thought of me, but apparently I need to step up my game.
Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. It's the penultimate of the Rincewind books in the Discworld series. I've been reading them to Steve when we're on car trips. Hilarious. I love, love, love these books. Janet the Hinjew mom has been telling me to read them for ages and she was dead-on. We adore them and see Rincewind as a personal hero.
Is Underground by Joan Aiken. I've been reading Julianna the Dido series that started a-way back with The Wolves of Willoughby Chase, one of my childhood faves. But I only read the first three as a kid and now there are many more. A really captivating group of characters and I love to do all the accents when I read. Reading this and the two previous books left me a bit Britain-soaked, though, so I read...
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. I've wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail forever, so I really enjoyed his account of his attempt. It's laugh-out-loud funny as well as really informative. I learned all sorts of stuff and I'm totally jazzed to hike and camp this summer.
Boomsday by Christopher Buckley. I actually read a book before the Washington Post review even came out! I just saw it and picked it up on impluse b/c I loved his Thank You For Smoking and Little Green Men. Funny guy. It's a romp as well, very insider-DC. The premise is that the 20 and 30 somethings get fed up with the Boomers hogging all the resources and come up with a plan to allow them to commit suicide before they become a drain on Social Security. And yet, funny! Buckley is great at dialogue, which is critical to me.
Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani. I enjoyed it, but not as much as I thought I would. People go ape for this series. It IS funny and full of good characters, but they seemed a bit too Northern Exposure Quirky. And the heroine is one of those women who distances herself from real life with books and wears that as a badge of honor. I find that annoying. But I do have the feeling that it's the sort of book in which the characters get into you and hang around and I'll end up reading another one eventually. It's set in the Appalachian mountains of Virginia, so it was fun to see the accent written to sound like one of my Grannies.
Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster. I picked this one up off the bargain table b/c I liked the title and saw the word "funny" all over the cover. And while there IS humor, by the end of the first 30 pages, I wanted to find the author and punch her in the throat. I flipped to a few random points, read a bit and then tossed it in the PBS pile.
I'm currently about 15 pages into Goats by Mark Jude Poirier. I'll let you know.
ANTM was a lame clip show, although we did finally get to see where that panel-mocking photo came from. Nothing new, really except my growing love for Natasha. Shear Genius was fun, even though they eliminated Gay Frodo. Lost was pretty awesome, as is any episode with lots of Jin and Sun, God's most perfectly constructed humans.
The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde It was recommended as a book that "made me think of you." by a couple of people, which always makes me nervous, but I gave it a whirl. It was fun. Kind of a Sue Grafton-meets-Douglas Adams thing. I enjoyed it, but am unlikely to read the others in the series as the heroine just didn't grab me as one I want to spend more time with. So, I can see why others thought of me, but apparently I need to step up my game.
Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. It's the penultimate of the Rincewind books in the Discworld series. I've been reading them to Steve when we're on car trips. Hilarious. I love, love, love these books. Janet the Hinjew mom has been telling me to read them for ages and she was dead-on. We adore them and see Rincewind as a personal hero.
Is Underground by Joan Aiken. I've been reading Julianna the Dido series that started a-way back with The Wolves of Willoughby Chase, one of my childhood faves. But I only read the first three as a kid and now there are many more. A really captivating group of characters and I love to do all the accents when I read. Reading this and the two previous books left me a bit Britain-soaked, though, so I read...
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. I've wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail forever, so I really enjoyed his account of his attempt. It's laugh-out-loud funny as well as really informative. I learned all sorts of stuff and I'm totally jazzed to hike and camp this summer.
Boomsday by Christopher Buckley. I actually read a book before the Washington Post review even came out! I just saw it and picked it up on impluse b/c I loved his Thank You For Smoking and Little Green Men. Funny guy. It's a romp as well, very insider-DC. The premise is that the 20 and 30 somethings get fed up with the Boomers hogging all the resources and come up with a plan to allow them to commit suicide before they become a drain on Social Security. And yet, funny! Buckley is great at dialogue, which is critical to me.
Big Stone Gap by Adriana Trigiani. I enjoyed it, but not as much as I thought I would. People go ape for this series. It IS funny and full of good characters, but they seemed a bit too Northern Exposure Quirky. And the heroine is one of those women who distances herself from real life with books and wears that as a badge of honor. I find that annoying. But I do have the feeling that it's the sort of book in which the characters get into you and hang around and I'll end up reading another one eventually. It's set in the Appalachian mountains of Virginia, so it was fun to see the accent written to sound like one of my Grannies.
Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster. I picked this one up off the bargain table b/c I liked the title and saw the word "funny" all over the cover. And while there IS humor, by the end of the first 30 pages, I wanted to find the author and punch her in the throat. I flipped to a few random points, read a bit and then tossed it in the PBS pile.
I'm currently about 15 pages into Goats by Mark Jude Poirier. I'll let you know.
ANTM was a lame clip show, although we did finally get to see where that panel-mocking photo came from. Nothing new, really except my growing love for Natasha. Shear Genius was fun, even though they eliminated Gay Frodo. Lost was pretty awesome, as is any episode with lots of Jin and Sun, God's most perfectly constructed humans.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Musing on spring
Why do some people not like dandelions? Why, given the choice between solid green and green with fuzzy yellow polka dots do some choose the former? I walked down to Bev's this morning and I so enjoyed walking through dandelions and violets. I love spring flowers--tulips, lilacs, the usual--but those little wildflowers just make me happy. When I see the occasional lawn that is utterly devoid of yellow spots, I think, "Hm. Small golf course." And they're such cool little guys anyway--growing to just under your mower's height. How can you not love a clever flower? And so tasty are the greens! Embrace the dandelion! Before it destroys you!
I will note here, with pride, that if you google "devil's jockstrap" I'm the #2 hit. I think that goes in the ol' alumni update for sure.
Back to spring--we have baby hamsters! One of our fosters gave birth the day after her arrival. She seemed untroubled by the process. We went in to check on her and she was climbing around on her igloo with one baby hanging out and another one at the foot of the igloo, clawing at the air. They are not cute. We left her to it, as we were told it was stress that sometimes causes them to snack on tasty babies. Angela told us that we could expect her to be grumpy and scarce at first. Then, when the babies get mobile, she'll spend all her time trying to keep them in the nest. Eventually,we'll find her sacked out in the corner, asleep. At that point, you are free to handle the babies b/c now she hates them. I find that it's kind of a speeded up version of human motherhood. So now we're still in the stage where she cries all the time and doesn't even bother buttoning her shirt because the damned babies are just going to want to nurse again in 10 minutes anyway, so why bother? Do we think she still looks fat? Do we even love her any more? could someone please just hand the water bottle down or chuck a sunflower seed in her direction because DAMN she is tired. Is Oprah on? Soon they'll be really cute though. I shall take many photos.
I don't want that to frighten any out there in my reading community who might be pregnant for the first time (YAY!). But yeah, it totally, totally sucks for two months. After about 6, 7 weeks, you'll get a shower and then you'll feel a lot better. Really.
I will note here, with pride, that if you google "devil's jockstrap" I'm the #2 hit. I think that goes in the ol' alumni update for sure.
Back to spring--we have baby hamsters! One of our fosters gave birth the day after her arrival. She seemed untroubled by the process. We went in to check on her and she was climbing around on her igloo with one baby hanging out and another one at the foot of the igloo, clawing at the air. They are not cute. We left her to it, as we were told it was stress that sometimes causes them to snack on tasty babies. Angela told us that we could expect her to be grumpy and scarce at first. Then, when the babies get mobile, she'll spend all her time trying to keep them in the nest. Eventually,we'll find her sacked out in the corner, asleep. At that point, you are free to handle the babies b/c now she hates them. I find that it's kind of a speeded up version of human motherhood. So now we're still in the stage where she cries all the time and doesn't even bother buttoning her shirt because the damned babies are just going to want to nurse again in 10 minutes anyway, so why bother? Do we think she still looks fat? Do we even love her any more? could someone please just hand the water bottle down or chuck a sunflower seed in her direction because DAMN she is tired. Is Oprah on? Soon they'll be really cute though. I shall take many photos.
I don't want that to frighten any out there in my reading community who might be pregnant for the first time (YAY!). But yeah, it totally, totally sucks for two months. After about 6, 7 weeks, you'll get a shower and then you'll feel a lot better. Really.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Random shopping rant
Overheard in line at Borders today:
[clerk on the phone to a customer's answering machine]: Mr. White, this is Mike at Borders, your order has come in. We have your King James Bible on DVD, Deepak Chopra's "Search for Meaning", the "Left Behind" set on audio, and the Complete Nightmare on Elm Street Collector's Edition.
I totally cracked up and the guy that was ringing me up rolled his eyes and said "I know!" I thought about how fun it would be to size people up by their book purchases the same way I do in the grocery store. And then it reminded me of the guy that came to our multi-apartment yard sale several years ago. He purchased a stack of vintage Playboys and a box of disposable gloves.
----------------
So I got it into my head that I was going to buy espadrilles on Sunday. I was in the mall for our weekly Small Angels rodent adoption event. So I left Julianna with the others and headed to Boscovs (I know, but this is the "old mall" where, as Chris Rock so aptly put it, the white people USED to shop. Now it has Boscovs, Bon Ton, a Payless, and an ever changing series of Everthing $insert number here stores where everything seems to have "fallen off of a truck." And the mall has this weird uneven floor like they just slapped tile down without ever smoothing the earth.). I've long said that Bon Ton smells like my Granny (the way she used to smell, that is, don't be gross), but damn if Boscov's doesn't look like her closet. It's like an Alfred Dunner tent sale in there. After wading through the Norton McNaughton and Rafaella to get to the shoes, I was not shocked to find that they did not carry the platform wedge hip espadrilles that would transform my summer wardrobe. Oh, they could transform it all right, just not the way I was hoping.
So I headed to Bon Ton for a whiff of Gran and some hope. I finally FIND their shoe dept (what, are they ashamed to sell shoes? No signage, no logic to the layout of the store...and seriously, how does ANYONE find anything in a dept store? If you needed, say, a black T shirt, you'd have to first figure out what dept to go to--misses? sportswear? career? And further, in the Bon Ton, the high end Ralph Lauren-y stuff is in the front of the store in this clean area with, like, two shirts per rack. Like a total of 30 items of clothing in 1000 square feet. Andalllll the rest of the dreck is cramed onto spin racks so tightly that you can hardly see anything. Welcoming.) and discover they have an eNORmous selection. Like, Zappos has a Frederick outlet or something. Even so, I can't find exactly what I had in mind, but I did try on these shoes by M.U.D.D. that I kind of liked. Hippie chick espadrilles with a crocheted strap over the toe and over the heel...but then ankle laces. I am nearly 40 and I am not a ballerina, so I'm not sure I should be in ankle laces. I tied them at the ankle (not lacing them up my leg so my calf fat could bulge out between the Xs--hot!) and looked in the mirror. Pretty cute. I think I can get away with it. I don't THINK it's too mutton-dressed-as-lamb, and they're cheap, so hey let's get 'em. Off I trot to the counter.
Someone is there already, purchasing many items. Not all of which are shoe related (this will be important later). She is purchasing them for her 93 year old mother (Bless her heart!) who just doesn't have a pretty, comfortable shoe (well, bless her heart!) but she has always liked to be pretty (of COURSE she does)...etc. And she has coupons. And she has to figure out which items will generate the most savings when paired with which coupon. And aparently Bon Ton makes this simple by assigning coupons to different departments and with different amounts and stipulations so that you need a fargin' lawyer to do your shopping, provided you are ever able to FIND the damned shirt you were looking for in the first place. It's clearly going to take a while.
I can see another "Service Center" (and they really should put quotes around it on the sign) and head for it. There is a woman hanging clothes next to it. She is disinclined to indicate that I am visible. "Uh, excuse me? Are you working this register?" "I'm sorry?" "This register [I indicate in case I've suddenly lapsed into Dutch again], are you working it?" "Yes," She looks at the box in my arms as if it were a live chicken (and not the way I look at live chickens, either). "But you have shoes." "Yes. I would like to buy them. With money." "Well, shoes have to be rung up in the shoe department because they get a commission and we don't" More than a hint of bitterness I might add. Ooookay. Maybe we're done buying Mama's Shoes...and there are now 4 people in line. All buying non shoe items which they can purchase wherever they like. And I put my espadrilles back. Perhaps I am not meant for ankle straps after all.
[clerk on the phone to a customer's answering machine]: Mr. White, this is Mike at Borders, your order has come in. We have your King James Bible on DVD, Deepak Chopra's "Search for Meaning", the "Left Behind" set on audio, and the Complete Nightmare on Elm Street Collector's Edition.
I totally cracked up and the guy that was ringing me up rolled his eyes and said "I know!" I thought about how fun it would be to size people up by their book purchases the same way I do in the grocery store. And then it reminded me of the guy that came to our multi-apartment yard sale several years ago. He purchased a stack of vintage Playboys and a box of disposable gloves.
----------------
So I got it into my head that I was going to buy espadrilles on Sunday. I was in the mall for our weekly Small Angels rodent adoption event. So I left Julianna with the others and headed to Boscovs (I know, but this is the "old mall" where, as Chris Rock so aptly put it, the white people USED to shop. Now it has Boscovs, Bon Ton, a Payless, and an ever changing series of Everthing $insert number here stores where everything seems to have "fallen off of a truck." And the mall has this weird uneven floor like they just slapped tile down without ever smoothing the earth.). I've long said that Bon Ton smells like my Granny (the way she used to smell, that is, don't be gross), but damn if Boscov's doesn't look like her closet. It's like an Alfred Dunner tent sale in there. After wading through the Norton McNaughton and Rafaella to get to the shoes, I was not shocked to find that they did not carry the platform wedge hip espadrilles that would transform my summer wardrobe. Oh, they could transform it all right, just not the way I was hoping.
So I headed to Bon Ton for a whiff of Gran and some hope. I finally FIND their shoe dept (what, are they ashamed to sell shoes? No signage, no logic to the layout of the store...and seriously, how does ANYONE find anything in a dept store? If you needed, say, a black T shirt, you'd have to first figure out what dept to go to--misses? sportswear? career? And further, in the Bon Ton, the high end Ralph Lauren-y stuff is in the front of the store in this clean area with, like, two shirts per rack. Like a total of 30 items of clothing in 1000 square feet. Andalllll the rest of the dreck is cramed onto spin racks so tightly that you can hardly see anything. Welcoming.) and discover they have an eNORmous selection. Like, Zappos has a Frederick outlet or something. Even so, I can't find exactly what I had in mind, but I did try on these shoes by M.U.D.D. that I kind of liked. Hippie chick espadrilles with a crocheted strap over the toe and over the heel...but then ankle laces. I am nearly 40 and I am not a ballerina, so I'm not sure I should be in ankle laces. I tied them at the ankle (not lacing them up my leg so my calf fat could bulge out between the Xs--hot!) and looked in the mirror. Pretty cute. I think I can get away with it. I don't THINK it's too mutton-dressed-as-lamb, and they're cheap, so hey let's get 'em. Off I trot to the counter.
Someone is there already, purchasing many items. Not all of which are shoe related (this will be important later). She is purchasing them for her 93 year old mother (Bless her heart!) who just doesn't have a pretty, comfortable shoe (well, bless her heart!) but she has always liked to be pretty (of COURSE she does)...etc. And she has coupons. And she has to figure out which items will generate the most savings when paired with which coupon. And aparently Bon Ton makes this simple by assigning coupons to different departments and with different amounts and stipulations so that you need a fargin' lawyer to do your shopping, provided you are ever able to FIND the damned shirt you were looking for in the first place. It's clearly going to take a while.
I can see another "Service Center" (and they really should put quotes around it on the sign) and head for it. There is a woman hanging clothes next to it. She is disinclined to indicate that I am visible. "Uh, excuse me? Are you working this register?" "I'm sorry?" "This register [I indicate in case I've suddenly lapsed into Dutch again], are you working it?" "Yes," She looks at the box in my arms as if it were a live chicken (and not the way I look at live chickens, either). "But you have shoes." "Yes. I would like to buy them. With money." "Well, shoes have to be rung up in the shoe department because they get a commission and we don't" More than a hint of bitterness I might add. Ooookay. Maybe we're done buying Mama's Shoes...and there are now 4 people in line. All buying non shoe items which they can purchase wherever they like. And I put my espadrilles back. Perhaps I am not meant for ankle straps after all.
Friday, April 20, 2007
OMG!! PONIES!1!
We all had our first riding lessons today! heaven. Heaven, I tells you. I loved it all, the smell of the horses, the sound of the clip clop feet and of the grass munching. The nickering. Love, love, love it. I've been away from horses too long. Lily got her little lesson first. I led her around the ring a few times and then Deanna (the instructor) put her on a lounge line. For your viewing pleasure!
Here are Julianna and Rhiannon after catching Veronica and Maple:
And then Lily. She was confident. In the video, you here Deanna say "Was that scary?" You can't quite hear Lily's "Nope." As if it were the silliest thing she could imagine.
She's on Peaches, who was the horse I rode today. Did I mention I got to ride a horse today? YAY!!
Rhiannon and Julianna. This is Julianna's first ever lesson, so please excuse her poor seat. :O)
Okay. That's all. Nothing funny really, just girls and ponies. Yay!
Here are Julianna and Rhiannon after catching Veronica and Maple:
And then Lily. She was confident. In the video, you here Deanna say "Was that scary?" You can't quite hear Lily's "Nope." As if it were the silliest thing she could imagine.
She's on Peaches, who was the horse I rode today. Did I mention I got to ride a horse today? YAY!!
Rhiannon and Julianna. This is Julianna's first ever lesson, so please excuse her poor seat. :O)
Okay. That's all. Nothing funny really, just girls and ponies. Yay!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Nastalgia
I was in the grocery store, looking at the German food section. Mostly pickles and saurkraut and other things I don't want (let's face it, we didn't go to German restaurants when we were there), but then I saw Tchibo coffee! That's what we bought there, the Tchibo cafe was right around the corner and I could just grab a pound. Ah, such good coffee it was. But I am very happy with our current coffee, be it from Starbox (as the kids insist is must be) or the home roast. But still, could I get a mental trip to Germany for the price of a 1/2 lb of coffee? So I just brewed up a bit. I may never get this horrid, horrid taste out of my mouth. Like civet scat filtered through the devil's jockstrap. Was it this bad there? German chocolate is still delicious, I trust that bread is too...but the coffee?
Spring? Is that you?
Ahhh...I can hear birds chirping. This is an improvement over the freight train roar of the wind. I'm no longer worried that Mildred and her home will come sailing up and smack into my bedroom windows. Sunday night, the wind knocked her house over. Steve and I trudged out in the dark to right it (with me hoping I wouldn't find her little ruby slipper clad feet sticking out from under it). When we set it up she just said "Brawww?" and hopped back on her perch. The next morning, I went to let her out and she poked her head out and thought better of leaving. She'd laid one egg Sunday morning, but that was all we go with all that wind trauma going on. But this morning--egg! Lily ate the last one for lunch...I was a bit weirded out all of the sudden. 39 years of egg eating and it dawns on me that it is made inside a chicken and comes out of its butt. Um...ew. I suspect it will be less weird when we have more chickens and thus, more eggs. And no, I don't have the ETA on those chickens yet. Isn't one enough for you people? Get your own chickens if you're so eager.
For the record, I'm now hooked on Shear Genius on Bravo. Haircut competition. It's awesome, much better than that horrid Top Design. One woman actually wept about how much she loves hair. You can't beat that.
And, Operation Sewing Space continues apace. I'm hoping to get back to bag making soon, getting Six Gables Originals churned out. So save your pennies.
and, ROSE! Thanks for coming by, babe.
For the record, I'm now hooked on Shear Genius on Bravo. Haircut competition. It's awesome, much better than that horrid Top Design. One woman actually wept about how much she loves hair. You can't beat that.
And, Operation Sewing Space continues apace. I'm hoping to get back to bag making soon, getting Six Gables Originals churned out. So save your pennies.
and, ROSE! Thanks for coming by, babe.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Okay, I just gotta say something
I'd thought that since it was Sunday and I still hadn't said anything about ANTM last week, I'd just let it go. Couldn't remember what the photos were anyway. So I went back, just to refresh my memory. The CW site is set up so that you have to look at all of a given model's photos to get to the most recent one. OMG, has there ever been a worse portfolio year? These photos are just unusable. My impression is that models sell stuff, right? Generally, in the traditional sense, they model clothes. And sometimes that means a weird or "editorial" (that's ANTM talk for "weird") shoot. But all of these are just odd. The candy/ice cream shots are jarring to look at. The gender-bending shoot? Funny, but who has that in a portfolio? Those idiotic "four sides of me" shots? Amateur. And then this week the comic strip bubble? The shots are cluttered, you can't see the girl, just crappy. The only shots I liked this season were the Dead Girl ones and those aren't on the site any more. Usually, I think that at least the girls leave the show with some nice photographs to take to agents. This year? Not even that. And crappy challenge prizes to boot.
Which brings us to...this week's challenge was the acting challenge. usually at utter hoot, but they didn't give us enough time with it this year. They pulled in Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite to teach acting. Oooookay. So he wasn't able to provide them with the gut-wretching weepfest of seasons past. Tyra will eat him for breakfast for that. Anyway, Renee won the challenge and got to pick "one of [her] friends" to share it. awkward! She just picks Dionne and they are each given a T-shirt. Their reactions REALLY won the acting challenge. "A T-shirt! Oh this is MUCH better than a diamond bracelet or extra photos! Wow!" But it turns out the real prize is that they get to see their babies. Yes, this is the Mama Season. So Renee and Dionne got to see their kids. But Natasha? Sorry babe. "I thought I would get to see Angelina and I coming running out, like where's MY baby?" niiice. "I don't know, they just deecided dat I don' miss my baby as much as other girls?" Yowsa. You make me proud, Tyra Banks.
Okay. Now. Someone help me out. This is in the episode gallery on the CW site. I do not remember it from the show and in a quick buzz through on the youtube uploads, I still don't see it. Did this happen?
I don't want to be missing any mockery.
Oh, and they booted Whitney to make the plane lighter for the overseas trip. Just so you know. Although, given this cycle's budget, I suspect they'll hop a dog for San Diego.
Which brings us to...this week's challenge was the acting challenge. usually at utter hoot, but they didn't give us enough time with it this year. They pulled in Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite to teach acting. Oooookay. So he wasn't able to provide them with the gut-wretching weepfest of seasons past. Tyra will eat him for breakfast for that. Anyway, Renee won the challenge and got to pick "one of [her] friends" to share it. awkward! She just picks Dionne and they are each given a T-shirt. Their reactions REALLY won the acting challenge. "A T-shirt! Oh this is MUCH better than a diamond bracelet or extra photos! Wow!" But it turns out the real prize is that they get to see their babies. Yes, this is the Mama Season. So Renee and Dionne got to see their kids. But Natasha? Sorry babe. "I thought I would get to see Angelina and I coming running out, like where's MY baby?" niiice. "I don't know, they just deecided dat I don' miss my baby as much as other girls?" Yowsa. You make me proud, Tyra Banks.
Okay. Now. Someone help me out. This is in the episode gallery on the CW site. I do not remember it from the show and in a quick buzz through on the youtube uploads, I still don't see it. Did this happen?
I don't want to be missing any mockery.
Oh, and they booted Whitney to make the plane lighter for the overseas trip. Just so you know. Although, given this cycle's budget, I suspect they'll hop a dog for San Diego.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
My chicken comes home to roost
I am now a chicken farmer! Chicken, singular. As in Mildred. She came home from boarding school today. But no more days of lacrosse and smoking and eating disorders for her. Henceforth, she will be a homeschooled chicken. I finished the pen and the coop just in time for what promises to be nasty weather.
Hmm...I think this thing is a chicken...
Behold, Two Gables!
I made it out of an old dresser I found on bulk trash day. All the drawers are out, making nice roosts. Look, Mildred digs it:
And really, what could be more white trash than keeping chickens in old furniture out in the yard? You can take the gal out of the hills...but she'll just move to different hills and get chickens. See, I even have the yard littered with plastic toys--totally for authenticity's sake. I mean, we'd never just leave stuff out for no reason:
Mildred was very happy to be out in a yard, digging up yummy worms and going Bok Bok. Hopefully foxes won't eat her.
Hmm...I think this thing is a chicken...
Behold, Two Gables!
I made it out of an old dresser I found on bulk trash day. All the drawers are out, making nice roosts. Look, Mildred digs it:
And really, what could be more white trash than keeping chickens in old furniture out in the yard? You can take the gal out of the hills...but she'll just move to different hills and get chickens. See, I even have the yard littered with plastic toys--totally for authenticity's sake. I mean, we'd never just leave stuff out for no reason:
Mildred was very happy to be out in a yard, digging up yummy worms and going Bok Bok. Hopefully foxes won't eat her.
Power Tools and Ponies
Good day yesterday. I made most of my chicken coop, which meant I got to use my new saw and my beloved DeWalt screwdriver. After school, we went to check out a riding instructor. Julianna's friend Rhiannon has been taking lessons there and her mom said it was much nicer than the other one we'd checked out (woman didn't actually seem to LIKE the horses). It was really nice AND I got to clean pony hooves. It's been so long since I leaned against a horse and clicked to get that foot up. I'm sure the woman that runs the stable thought she had a live one. "Seriously, she said she likes to clean hooves. I think we'll be able to charge double." Plus there was a 2 week old foal who let me scratch his ears while he nibbled my jacket. I was in heaven. So I signed the girls and I up. Lily and Julianna will get lessons and I'll get to ride b/c she has so many horses that need exercise. And Ben gets to play video games in a trailer with Rhiannon's two brothers. Everyone wins. Julianna and I are counting the days until next Friday. OMG PONIES!1!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The eleventh plague was Dental Caries
We went to New Jersey for a Passover seder last weekend. First, of course, the children did the tradtional hunt for plastic eggs filled with candy at the community center. Hunt is actually a rather strong term..."gather" is probably more accurate. Some volunteer just walked around the playground areas tossing eggs out of a box. The kids hunted by age, Julianna found a golden egg which meant she got one of those pre-made Easter baskets. This was an awesome boon because it allowed them to see just how lame those things are. Yes, it looks like they're just stuffed to bursting, but see? You get 3 bags of no-name candy and a mangy stuffed animal. So quit begging. She was very gracious and gave the giraffe hand puppet (which you can't really get your hand all the way into) to Lily and a bag of jelly beans to Ben. Who rewarded her by stealing her Airhead taffy later. But she stole my Ritter Sport chocolate bar so it serves her right. Clearly we all lived through the Depression and need to horde. I knew sticking them in the Bread Line would come back to bite me in the ass.
Behind you! I think I see one!
Then we loaded them and their pile of candy into the van and headed to the grandparents' house. Since we were just there last weekend, we just did a tactical Passover Strike. In by Saturday afternoon, eat, out Sunday night, leaving naught but Mandelbrot crumbs in our wake. Last year our seder with props was a huge hit with the kids, so we wanted to do it again. So we pulled up, said hello, dumped the kids, and went shopping. And, success! For the uninitiated, there comes a time in the seder when the Ten Plagues are discussed. Moses asks Pharaoh to "let my people go" (sing to yourselves, please) and Pharaoh says "as if" and God sends nasty things to get the point across. To liven up the seder and distract the kids from the fact that there's no food on the table yet, we started using props. The first plague was blood--the Nile turns to blood. So Steve sprayed red silly string all over us. Second plague is frogs--little plastic frogs are tossed, they land in the wine and water glasses, enhancing the realism. Third plague is lice--we intended to toss rice and either forgot or it was deemed unkosher for tossing, and tossed farfel instead (a plague of matzoh crumbs! Uncle! Take the slaves and get out!). Fourth plague,wild beasts--plastic jungle animals rain down from above. Fifth plague, cattle disease--we'd wanted one of those noise maker things that emits that very sad "mooo" when you turn it over, but no dice. So Steve just knocked over a few plastic cows. Plague Six, boils--round stickers applied to our faces. Seven, hail--little white balls bouncing around the table. Eight, locusts--plastic bugs join the frogs and jungle critters. Nine, darkness--sunglasses for everyone. Ten, death of the firstborn...well, not so funny. I considered telling Julianna she had to slump over, but it seemed macabre, even for me. And, technically, it was just sons anyway (like Pharoah would care if the girls died. Please), so only Steve would need to slump. Anyway. It was a hit again, but a bit chaotic. Steve plans to work on it. In all his spare time. Which is to say, after we drop off the kids NEXT year. Pictures!
Julianna asks the Four Questions:
Lily shows us a hailstone. Note the dead cow in the background.
Ben with blood in his hair (and a nice squishy ball of blood in his hands), and boils on his face, is struck blind.
As usual, I ate too much and shoved dessert in anyway.
Behind you! I think I see one!
Then we loaded them and their pile of candy into the van and headed to the grandparents' house. Since we were just there last weekend, we just did a tactical Passover Strike. In by Saturday afternoon, eat, out Sunday night, leaving naught but Mandelbrot crumbs in our wake. Last year our seder with props was a huge hit with the kids, so we wanted to do it again. So we pulled up, said hello, dumped the kids, and went shopping. And, success! For the uninitiated, there comes a time in the seder when the Ten Plagues are discussed. Moses asks Pharaoh to "let my people go" (sing to yourselves, please) and Pharaoh says "as if" and God sends nasty things to get the point across. To liven up the seder and distract the kids from the fact that there's no food on the table yet, we started using props. The first plague was blood--the Nile turns to blood. So Steve sprayed red silly string all over us. Second plague is frogs--little plastic frogs are tossed, they land in the wine and water glasses, enhancing the realism. Third plague is lice--we intended to toss rice and either forgot or it was deemed unkosher for tossing, and tossed farfel instead (a plague of matzoh crumbs! Uncle! Take the slaves and get out!). Fourth plague,wild beasts--plastic jungle animals rain down from above. Fifth plague, cattle disease--we'd wanted one of those noise maker things that emits that very sad "mooo" when you turn it over, but no dice. So Steve just knocked over a few plastic cows. Plague Six, boils--round stickers applied to our faces. Seven, hail--little white balls bouncing around the table. Eight, locusts--plastic bugs join the frogs and jungle critters. Nine, darkness--sunglasses for everyone. Ten, death of the firstborn...well, not so funny. I considered telling Julianna she had to slump over, but it seemed macabre, even for me. And, technically, it was just sons anyway (like Pharoah would care if the girls died. Please), so only Steve would need to slump. Anyway. It was a hit again, but a bit chaotic. Steve plans to work on it. In all his spare time. Which is to say, after we drop off the kids NEXT year. Pictures!
Julianna asks the Four Questions:
Lily shows us a hailstone. Note the dead cow in the background.
Ben with blood in his hair (and a nice squishy ball of blood in his hands), and boils on his face, is struck blind.
As usual, I ate too much and shoved dessert in anyway.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Smoove.
So today I went into the school when I dropped off the kids because I couldn't remember if it was my day to be a library lady. It wasn't, but I hung around and talked to the on-duty LL and another mom. Then a third mom came in and said that the heat was out in the basement and the lower elementary kids were freezing. I brilliantly suggested taking the lost-and-found bucket down there, letting cold kids rummage. So I went to the office, asked the secretary and then the principal if that was okay. Sure. So I did. And I went to every classroom, telling the teacher what I was doing. Saw and chatted with many people, both adult and child. Went to my car, where I noticed, in my reflection, that I had a glob of cream cheese on the end of my nose. Nice. People, if a person you are talking to has food on his or her nose, assume it is in error and point it out to him or her. thank you. Of course, I'm so wicked cool that now EVERYone is going to be trying to rock the Cream Cheese Nose. As if they could be as cool as me.
And on a related and more painful note. On the morning I took the kids to DC, I put on some pants that I'd been "airing" on the cedar chest. Always comfier on Day 2, right? So I belted them and thought, "ow." then I though "HOLY CRAP OW OW OW!" and yanked off my pants to find a friggin' WASP flopping around on the floor. I squished him with extreme prejudice and noticed that he'd gotten me twice. Asshole. It HURT. And then Ben and Lily started fighting and I couldn't say, "Could you just hold on for a minute b/c Mommy had a WASP in her freakin' PANTS" because neither of them would ever get dressed again. So I just screamed at them and then called Steve and cried. 'Cause ow.
And on a related and more painful note. On the morning I took the kids to DC, I put on some pants that I'd been "airing" on the cedar chest. Always comfier on Day 2, right? So I belted them and thought, "ow." then I though "HOLY CRAP OW OW OW!" and yanked off my pants to find a friggin' WASP flopping around on the floor. I squished him with extreme prejudice and noticed that he'd gotten me twice. Asshole. It HURT. And then Ben and Lily started fighting and I couldn't say, "Could you just hold on for a minute b/c Mommy had a WASP in her freakin' PANTS" because neither of them would ever get dressed again. So I just screamed at them and then called Steve and cried. 'Cause ow.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Global Warming, my ass.
So we went to DC to see the Cherry Blossoms. But we were a week late b/c they'd already peaked and the arctic winds had blown most of the blossoms off and into the Tidal Basin and the cold weather--with snow flurries!--had kept more from blooming. Yet I had roses in January. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. As you were!
Annnyway...Our neighbors joined us on our journey to the big city. Having lived in DC (okay, Takoma Park, but close enough) I was all old-hand at it, but my compatriots managed to make it clear that we were from Frederick. Poor Jerry gravitated to an old Fare Card machine where he was completely confounded by its refusal to give more than 5 dollars change or allow him to purchase more than one card. It was just as well designed as you'd expect it to be, given it was a DC system. The new machines are marginally more helpful, in that they do at least have a screen that gives you words to suggest that it knows you're there and trying to purchase something. It has a novella's worth of text to tell you how to use it. Very helpful to the non-English speaking population, I'm certain. Luckily, everyone in the DC metro area had relatives on the Mayflower. Once we finally got it to allow us to buy tickets, we had to get the turnstiles to let us through. The kids jammed them in every which way (except the way with the arrow, I'd imagine) clogging up 3 or 4 lanes at once. It really was magical. Bev and I were busting a seam, laughing, the kids were perplexed, Jerry was just baaarely holding it together. But we got on the train. Every time we pulled out of a station, Lily'd say, "Mommy, can I pole dance now?!" I thought it was pretty funny until it occurred to me that someone might think I'm one of those skanky housewives that think it's somehow cute and sexy to have a "pole" installed in my house to dance for "exercise." (and if you have one of those, and children, I'm sorry to have offended you, but not as sorry as I am that you did this) Then I started saying, "Yes, you may dance around the pole when the train starts up again.
So, we got to DC, and wanted to eat lunch. I usually eat lunch at the Old Post Office b/c there's a uncrowded food court in the basement. But when we emerged from the Metro stop, there was a sign advertising a food court in the basement of the Ronald Reagan building which was right in front of us, so we opted to go there. I hoped my skin wouldn't blister in the atmosphere. We walk in the door and the guard asks to see our IDs. Uh...we just want lunch? Yeah, need to see IDs. It finally dawned on me that they were talking driver's license, not a badge and we fumbled those out, after again feeling quite rube-y. But still, damn. The food was overpriced, the venue crowded, but we were fed.
Okay! Where are those trees? We head for the Washington Monument, and see that we are about a week late. Grr. Anyway, the kids were immediately distracted by a steam vent beside the monument. There was this big crowd of kids leaping in and out of the steam and squealing happily when a big burst came out and running up on the grate when it subsided. It was clear that this would be what many of them remembered as the Best Thing about their trip to DC. I was reminded of my post card home to my dad from a vacation (at about age 7) in the Smokey Mountains. It went something like "We're having a good time. Justin pooped in the closet. I went swimming and almost drowned. Love, Deana." You just can't plan a kid's memories.
Then, as we headed from the Monument toward the Reflecting Pool, they found an air vent. More big fun:
We had to go through the new World War II memorial to get to the Lincoln Memorial. I'd never seen it before. It's pretty. Not terribly inspiring, but pretty. Here are the kids, peeing into the pool:
Here we all are, posing as the spineless, sightless, and insane Democratic party:
Then I forced the kids to climb all 88 steps from the reflecting pool to the Lincoln Memorial. And, of course, told them that it's really funny to stand at the top of the steps and say, "I had the strangest dream..." They, for their part, made jokes to the effect of "I knew he was tall, but wow!" and "I bet his boogers could drown you." Respectful. That's what I'm going for.
Julianna was beginning to get very annoyed that we had not yet immersed ourselves in what meager blossoms we could find. So we headed over to a small grove that still had a few flowers on them. I tried not to be bitter about the fact that I hadn't been able to dress the kids in cute spring clothes to pose among the blossoms and snapped a few pictures:
I'm sure you can guess which photo is my favorite.
We worked our way around the Tidal Basin and came to the FDR memorial. I'd never seen it and I really, really liked it. It was well designed, friendly, pretty, and --if you aren't chasing a bunch of kids around--thought provoking. Much better than the WWII, which just seemed to shoot for Grand, and only achieved Boring. There are several waterfalls and lots of big rocks to climb. And, of course, the Bread Line sculpture:
Always respectful. That's us. "Go get in the line and look hungry! It'll be hilarious!"
I think this will be my official press photograph:
It was part of a larger bit of sculpture that Julianna asked to have her picture taken in. She is slumped and sullen as part of the effect. Because she's my little hippie child.
If your screen is too dark, you might not see that the word on the stone behind her is "war." There were a couple "I hate war" sculptures. I presume that FDR said that at some point and it isn't just editorial on the part of the designers.
Ben beside a pool that I'd just told him he could not toss that stick into...
As we headed from FDR toward the Jefferson Memorial, we hit another patch of trees that still had blossoms and I took some MORE photos, b/c dammit, I was getting some cherry tree pictures:
As we headed on to the Jefferson Memorial, I vowed that my heart would actually have to stop at the beauty of the sight before I took any more pictures, so that's it for the photo journey. Ben had long since passed crabby and was well on his way to unbearable, so we sat for a bit and watched some Indian (Ghandi, not Tonto) dancing in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Lily, as usual, could have watched all day. Damned shame we have no Hindu blood. Janet, will you take her? Then we headed toward the Metro again, stopping for ice cream, as you do when it's 50 degrees and windy. Jerry and I were thrilled to find that we had no parking tickets and that there was very little traffic on the way home. Good day all around, in spite of the paltry flower count!
Annnyway...Our neighbors joined us on our journey to the big city. Having lived in DC (okay, Takoma Park, but close enough) I was all old-hand at it, but my compatriots managed to make it clear that we were from Frederick. Poor Jerry gravitated to an old Fare Card machine where he was completely confounded by its refusal to give more than 5 dollars change or allow him to purchase more than one card. It was just as well designed as you'd expect it to be, given it was a DC system. The new machines are marginally more helpful, in that they do at least have a screen that gives you words to suggest that it knows you're there and trying to purchase something. It has a novella's worth of text to tell you how to use it. Very helpful to the non-English speaking population, I'm certain. Luckily, everyone in the DC metro area had relatives on the Mayflower. Once we finally got it to allow us to buy tickets, we had to get the turnstiles to let us through. The kids jammed them in every which way (except the way with the arrow, I'd imagine) clogging up 3 or 4 lanes at once. It really was magical. Bev and I were busting a seam, laughing, the kids were perplexed, Jerry was just baaarely holding it together. But we got on the train. Every time we pulled out of a station, Lily'd say, "Mommy, can I pole dance now?!" I thought it was pretty funny until it occurred to me that someone might think I'm one of those skanky housewives that think it's somehow cute and sexy to have a "pole" installed in my house to dance for "exercise." (and if you have one of those, and children, I'm sorry to have offended you, but not as sorry as I am that you did this) Then I started saying, "Yes, you may dance around the pole when the train starts up again.
So, we got to DC, and wanted to eat lunch. I usually eat lunch at the Old Post Office b/c there's a uncrowded food court in the basement. But when we emerged from the Metro stop, there was a sign advertising a food court in the basement of the Ronald Reagan building which was right in front of us, so we opted to go there. I hoped my skin wouldn't blister in the atmosphere. We walk in the door and the guard asks to see our IDs. Uh...we just want lunch? Yeah, need to see IDs. It finally dawned on me that they were talking driver's license, not a badge and we fumbled those out, after again feeling quite rube-y. But still, damn. The food was overpriced, the venue crowded, but we were fed.
Okay! Where are those trees? We head for the Washington Monument, and see that we are about a week late. Grr. Anyway, the kids were immediately distracted by a steam vent beside the monument. There was this big crowd of kids leaping in and out of the steam and squealing happily when a big burst came out and running up on the grate when it subsided. It was clear that this would be what many of them remembered as the Best Thing about their trip to DC. I was reminded of my post card home to my dad from a vacation (at about age 7) in the Smokey Mountains. It went something like "We're having a good time. Justin pooped in the closet. I went swimming and almost drowned. Love, Deana." You just can't plan a kid's memories.
Then, as we headed from the Monument toward the Reflecting Pool, they found an air vent. More big fun:
We had to go through the new World War II memorial to get to the Lincoln Memorial. I'd never seen it before. It's pretty. Not terribly inspiring, but pretty. Here are the kids, peeing into the pool:
Here we all are, posing as the spineless, sightless, and insane Democratic party:
Then I forced the kids to climb all 88 steps from the reflecting pool to the Lincoln Memorial. And, of course, told them that it's really funny to stand at the top of the steps and say, "I had the strangest dream..." They, for their part, made jokes to the effect of "I knew he was tall, but wow!" and "I bet his boogers could drown you." Respectful. That's what I'm going for.
Julianna was beginning to get very annoyed that we had not yet immersed ourselves in what meager blossoms we could find. So we headed over to a small grove that still had a few flowers on them. I tried not to be bitter about the fact that I hadn't been able to dress the kids in cute spring clothes to pose among the blossoms and snapped a few pictures:
I'm sure you can guess which photo is my favorite.
We worked our way around the Tidal Basin and came to the FDR memorial. I'd never seen it and I really, really liked it. It was well designed, friendly, pretty, and --if you aren't chasing a bunch of kids around--thought provoking. Much better than the WWII, which just seemed to shoot for Grand, and only achieved Boring. There are several waterfalls and lots of big rocks to climb. And, of course, the Bread Line sculpture:
Always respectful. That's us. "Go get in the line and look hungry! It'll be hilarious!"
I think this will be my official press photograph:
It was part of a larger bit of sculpture that Julianna asked to have her picture taken in. She is slumped and sullen as part of the effect. Because she's my little hippie child.
If your screen is too dark, you might not see that the word on the stone behind her is "war." There were a couple "I hate war" sculptures. I presume that FDR said that at some point and it isn't just editorial on the part of the designers.
Ben beside a pool that I'd just told him he could not toss that stick into...
As we headed from FDR toward the Jefferson Memorial, we hit another patch of trees that still had blossoms and I took some MORE photos, b/c dammit, I was getting some cherry tree pictures:
As we headed on to the Jefferson Memorial, I vowed that my heart would actually have to stop at the beauty of the sight before I took any more pictures, so that's it for the photo journey. Ben had long since passed crabby and was well on his way to unbearable, so we sat for a bit and watched some Indian (Ghandi, not Tonto) dancing in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Lily, as usual, could have watched all day. Damned shame we have no Hindu blood. Janet, will you take her? Then we headed toward the Metro again, stopping for ice cream, as you do when it's 50 degrees and windy. Jerry and I were thrilled to find that we had no parking tickets and that there was very little traffic on the way home. Good day all around, in spite of the paltry flower count!
Friday, April 6, 2007
The chinese food of television
I'm always excited on Wednesdays to watch my Top Model. And yet, once it's over, I can hardly remember I saw it. Until I saw Andi mention it, I'd forgotten this episode existed. So I'll keep it short, but I do have a few things to say. What is up with the head scarves? Renee sported one for much of the episode, this French Lieutenant's Woman kind of hood/scarf combo. Very silly with a tank top. Then Brittany was wearing it, which made more sense. That weave is NASTY. It stuck straight out from her head like a beaver's tail. And then Tyra was wearing a huge headband/fake hair combo again. Where is her hair? I grow more and more concerned. I need answers.
My love for Dionne grows. I love to hear her say "Day-um" and "Hay-el" and just generally crack me up. They had this dumb-ass gimmick in which the girls had to make up new names for themselves. Dionne chose "Wholahay," which is just awesome. That, and the exchange when Benny medina asked Renee her name and she said, "Nayim." And he said, "Yes, your name." "Nayim." "I KNOW. You made up a new name? Right?" "yes, it's Nayim." Ah. Maybe there's a problem with that, uh, nayim. And let's hope they aren't expected to keep these stupid names after this episode. Shave them off with Brittany's weave.
I was amused that Jael getting pushed into the pool by 50 cent (seriously dude, get a name) never came up at judging. Jael and Natasha are Teflon coated. Neither of them can win this, but they ARE having fun. The photo shoot was kind of an afterthought, it seemed. It should have been a big and important one--no gimmicks, just the girls, styling themselves. But it was uneventful and under directed. The episode was too much about Benny Medina and Tyra.. But getting to see Jael put Renee in her place did kind of make up for the boringness of the shoots...
My love for Dionne grows. I love to hear her say "Day-um" and "Hay-el" and just generally crack me up. They had this dumb-ass gimmick in which the girls had to make up new names for themselves. Dionne chose "Wholahay," which is just awesome. That, and the exchange when Benny medina asked Renee her name and she said, "Nayim." And he said, "Yes, your name." "Nayim." "I KNOW. You made up a new name? Right?" "yes, it's Nayim." Ah. Maybe there's a problem with that, uh, nayim. And let's hope they aren't expected to keep these stupid names after this episode. Shave them off with Brittany's weave.
I was amused that Jael getting pushed into the pool by 50 cent (seriously dude, get a name) never came up at judging. Jael and Natasha are Teflon coated. Neither of them can win this, but they ARE having fun. The photo shoot was kind of an afterthought, it seemed. It should have been a big and important one--no gimmicks, just the girls, styling themselves. But it was uneventful and under directed. The episode was too much about Benny Medina and Tyra.. But getting to see Jael put Renee in her place did kind of make up for the boringness of the shoots...
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Ballet recital preview!
Lily's dance class had picture day on Monday. This year's costume is really cute with a cherry blossom pattern on it. I want to take her out and pose her in or under a cherry tree but suddenly it's winter again. I'm not amused.
Anyway. They're such show biz veterans, these girls. Here they are before they are "on":
"We are SO bored. Being adorable is just soooo banal."
And then, "Smile girls!":
Then Giant Miss Leslie has to pluck out the girl with the demon eyes who was trying to bore holes into my little grimacing princess:
Anyway. They're such show biz veterans, these girls. Here they are before they are "on":
"We are SO bored. Being adorable is just soooo banal."
And then, "Smile girls!":
Then Giant Miss Leslie has to pluck out the girl with the demon eyes who was trying to bore holes into my little grimacing princess:
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
And....we're back.
You know, those breaks from the kids are never actually refreshing. I come back, and they all start pissing and moaning about each other and I still want to knock their heads together. I did not return with infinite patience. Maybe I should go on a crappy break so that belligerent children seem like a dream come true (I couldn't get belligerent to look right, so I plugged it--missing an l--into dictionary.com...now it tells you that word in a dozen languages. German? Kriegfuehrend. Now you know). But, I didn't have a crappy trip, I had an awesome trip. Awesome. Capital A.
We stayed at the Warwick Hotel in midtown Mahanttan--the Beatles stayed there! gave two press conferences there! Cary Grant lived there for 12 years!--which was, in itself, very nice. Our room, by NYC standards was huge. Doorman, marble lobby, charming old fashioned touches... Dianu!
We arrived on Friday, checked in, and went out in search of grub. I was starving. And in New York. Without my kids...Whitefish salad, here I come! Mmmm. It was good, but the kitschy overpriced deli only served it in 1 pound portions. That's a LOT of food. AND they charge a $5 sharing fee. Bastids. Benash Deli. Avoid. Then we went back to our rooms and napped. Ahhhhh.
Dinner at Zen Palate, all vegetarian, all delicious. The building itself (Union Square location) was gorgeous, the service was fantastic, the food was world class. And not even unreasonably priced. I'd eat there every week if I lived there. I kept looking, jealously, at the people coming and going from the apartments across the street. Lucky devils. Of course, they were probably living on ramen noodles and Banquet pot pies to afford to live there. So, there's that.
After dinner, we headed over to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater to catch "The Stepfathers" improv show. It was really fun and made Steve and I really sad that we can't go to these shows every week. Or, better, be in them. Improv looks to be the mostest fun. Like being with your funniest friends after one glass of wine. Or, with your less funny friends after more wine. Or, with any random dude much much later. And we saw him, too--on the way out of Connolly's bar, where we went after the show. Some guy was being escorted out by the bartender and his also-drunk-but-still-able-to-walk friend. We went in, had a couple of beers, and played Trivial Pursuit (the bar edition that doesn't have a board. I'm not THAT huge of a geek. Okay, I am. But I had to pack light) just like we used to in Germany. Then back to the Warwick (3 doors up) to bed!
Next day, breakfast at SaraBeth's Kitchen. Fantastic omelet with a yummy corn muffin. I like eating in New York. It's right on the Park, so we walked by there as we headed out to get on line at a TKTS booth. Here we are, Steve looking good, me looking fat and disheveled.
We went to the booth at the South Street Seaport because it has much shorter lines. Even so, we had a wait. We'd hoped to see Avenue Q, but by the time we got to the front, they only had one ticket. Pauly Walnuts had been there scalping along the line, but we decided to go with a ticket that might actually be accepted at the theater. I heard one woman ask him "Where do you get your tickets?" He said, "From a broker." in this perfect "that's all you need to know" NY accent and tone. We ended up getting tix for Chicago when we heard that Bebe Neuwirth was playing Roxie Hart. We took up the rest of the afternoon just strolling around, hitting the garment district so that I could swoon over the bead and trim stores. Seriously people. Swoooning. I cannot even imagine having that much selection. Oh, this store not have your bead? Then walk one door over. Not there either, well go one door over. A-freaking-mazing. I didn't even get to the fabric stores. Thank heavens. Sigh.
One of my favorite things about NYC is all the great deco architecture. Check this out, it's the freight door.
We popped into the Museum of Television and Radio, but it was rather lame. It's a "screening museum" but you have to know what you want ahead of time...No exhibits. No catalog. Seriously, MTR people, I can put you in touch with American Studies majors who would be overjoyed to help you. Probably for free. God knows they aren't doing anything else. You buy me dinner at Sushi Yasuda and I'll do it.
In fact, I will complete most any task for dinner at Sushi Yasuda, which is where we went for dinner. It's a hot place, so we could only get in at 6:00 pm (which is like breakfast time to New Yorkers), and at the bar. But that was a bonus, it turns out. We just asked the sushi chef to make up whatever was good. Turns out nothing was good. It was all fantastic. Not only the best sushi I've ever had, but the best meal I've ever had. Yes, technically, I am a vegetarian, but I was slow to give up sea critters figuring I didn't really have a problem with eating them. But then, when kids came along, it became harder to defend that practice. "You see, honey, fish are not attractive. So it's okay if they die to feed me." So I gave it up for the most part. But get me away from the kids, and sea creatures cower before me. They did not die in vain. We were literally moaning, it was so good. Here, read reviews. The fatty tuna. The uni. The shrimp. (insert Homer noise here) The only thing that wasn't really, really good was the baby squid. Which was just odd. I wish I'd thought to take a photo. It did not look like this:
it looked like this: 
only on rice, wrapped in nori, with its legs kinda dangling and crossed over one another in a very relaxed way. Honestly? I think I'm pretty butch to have put that thing in my mouth. Deprive a gal of meat long enough and there's not telling WHAT she'll eat.
But seriously folks, if you ever see this awning:
rob the next person you see and go in and eat. There's no name on the door, no number, nothing to suggest that you are entering the best restaurant on earth. So. flippin. good. I walked around smiling for a hour after, just because my mouth was so happy.
Chicago was fun. The dancing was amazing. The songs were good. The story was...dark. It was written in 1975, a time when you just didn't write Good Characters. Everyone is flawed, deeply. The only character who might be good? She gets hung. The rest of them are nasty and backstabbing and venal and...really, really good dancers. Did you know that professional dancers have good bodies? They do.
After that, we went back to the UCB to catch Wrestle Slam Mania 2. here's a link to a YouTube recording of one of the "cage matches." Very silly fun. It's like Pro Wrestling only funny...er.
Next day, down to the Lower East Side to buy some food. We got the best bialys I've ever had. And then the best donut I've ever had (even better than KK! I swear! Steve disagrees, but he's wrong). We tried to get babka, but they'd already cleaned up for passover. Go figure, orthodox jews keeping kosher. We did a lot of walking and shopping and then hopped on a bus back to NJ. It was fun. It was delicious.
We stayed at the Warwick Hotel in midtown Mahanttan--the Beatles stayed there! gave two press conferences there! Cary Grant lived there for 12 years!--which was, in itself, very nice. Our room, by NYC standards was huge. Doorman, marble lobby, charming old fashioned touches... Dianu!
We arrived on Friday, checked in, and went out in search of grub. I was starving. And in New York. Without my kids...Whitefish salad, here I come! Mmmm. It was good, but the kitschy overpriced deli only served it in 1 pound portions. That's a LOT of food. AND they charge a $5 sharing fee. Bastids. Benash Deli. Avoid. Then we went back to our rooms and napped. Ahhhhh.
Dinner at Zen Palate, all vegetarian, all delicious. The building itself (Union Square location) was gorgeous, the service was fantastic, the food was world class. And not even unreasonably priced. I'd eat there every week if I lived there. I kept looking, jealously, at the people coming and going from the apartments across the street. Lucky devils. Of course, they were probably living on ramen noodles and Banquet pot pies to afford to live there. So, there's that.
After dinner, we headed over to the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater to catch "The Stepfathers" improv show. It was really fun and made Steve and I really sad that we can't go to these shows every week. Or, better, be in them. Improv looks to be the mostest fun. Like being with your funniest friends after one glass of wine. Or, with your less funny friends after more wine. Or, with any random dude much much later. And we saw him, too--on the way out of Connolly's bar, where we went after the show. Some guy was being escorted out by the bartender and his also-drunk-but-still-able-to-walk friend. We went in, had a couple of beers, and played Trivial Pursuit (the bar edition that doesn't have a board. I'm not THAT huge of a geek. Okay, I am. But I had to pack light) just like we used to in Germany. Then back to the Warwick (3 doors up) to bed!
Next day, breakfast at SaraBeth's Kitchen. Fantastic omelet with a yummy corn muffin. I like eating in New York. It's right on the Park, so we walked by there as we headed out to get on line at a TKTS booth. Here we are, Steve looking good, me looking fat and disheveled.
We went to the booth at the South Street Seaport because it has much shorter lines. Even so, we had a wait. We'd hoped to see Avenue Q, but by the time we got to the front, they only had one ticket. Pauly Walnuts had been there scalping along the line, but we decided to go with a ticket that might actually be accepted at the theater. I heard one woman ask him "Where do you get your tickets?" He said, "From a broker." in this perfect "that's all you need to know" NY accent and tone. We ended up getting tix for Chicago when we heard that Bebe Neuwirth was playing Roxie Hart. We took up the rest of the afternoon just strolling around, hitting the garment district so that I could swoon over the bead and trim stores. Seriously people. Swoooning. I cannot even imagine having that much selection. Oh, this store not have your bead? Then walk one door over. Not there either, well go one door over. A-freaking-mazing. I didn't even get to the fabric stores. Thank heavens. Sigh.
One of my favorite things about NYC is all the great deco architecture. Check this out, it's the freight door.
We popped into the Museum of Television and Radio, but it was rather lame. It's a "screening museum" but you have to know what you want ahead of time...No exhibits. No catalog. Seriously, MTR people, I can put you in touch with American Studies majors who would be overjoyed to help you. Probably for free. God knows they aren't doing anything else. You buy me dinner at Sushi Yasuda and I'll do it.
In fact, I will complete most any task for dinner at Sushi Yasuda, which is where we went for dinner. It's a hot place, so we could only get in at 6:00 pm (which is like breakfast time to New Yorkers), and at the bar. But that was a bonus, it turns out. We just asked the sushi chef to make up whatever was good. Turns out nothing was good. It was all fantastic. Not only the best sushi I've ever had, but the best meal I've ever had. Yes, technically, I am a vegetarian, but I was slow to give up sea critters figuring I didn't really have a problem with eating them. But then, when kids came along, it became harder to defend that practice. "You see, honey, fish are not attractive. So it's okay if they die to feed me." So I gave it up for the most part. But get me away from the kids, and sea creatures cower before me. They did not die in vain. We were literally moaning, it was so good. Here, read reviews. The fatty tuna. The uni. The shrimp. (insert Homer noise here) The only thing that wasn't really, really good was the baby squid. Which was just odd. I wish I'd thought to take a photo. It did not look like this:
it looked like this: only on rice, wrapped in nori, with its legs kinda dangling and crossed over one another in a very relaxed way. Honestly? I think I'm pretty butch to have put that thing in my mouth. Deprive a gal of meat long enough and there's not telling WHAT she'll eat.But seriously folks, if you ever see this awning:
rob the next person you see and go in and eat. There's no name on the door, no number, nothing to suggest that you are entering the best restaurant on earth. So. flippin. good. I walked around smiling for a hour after, just because my mouth was so happy.
Chicago was fun. The dancing was amazing. The songs were good. The story was...dark. It was written in 1975, a time when you just didn't write Good Characters. Everyone is flawed, deeply. The only character who might be good? She gets hung. The rest of them are nasty and backstabbing and venal and...really, really good dancers. Did you know that professional dancers have good bodies? They do.
After that, we went back to the UCB to catch Wrestle Slam Mania 2. here's a link to a YouTube recording of one of the "cage matches." Very silly fun. It's like Pro Wrestling only funny...er.
Next day, down to the Lower East Side to buy some food. We got the best bialys I've ever had. And then the best donut I've ever had (even better than KK! I swear! Steve disagrees, but he's wrong). We tried to get babka, but they'd already cleaned up for passover. Go figure, orthodox jews keeping kosher. We did a lot of walking and shopping and then hopped on a bus back to NJ. It was fun. It was delicious.
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