The eleventh plague was Dental Caries

We went to New Jersey for a Passover seder last weekend.  First, of course, the children did the tradtional hunt for plastic eggs filled with candy at the community center.  Hunt is actually a rather strong term..."gather" is probably more accurate.    Some volunteer just walked around the playground areas tossing eggs out of a box.  The kids hunted by age, Julianna found a golden egg which meant she got one of those pre-made Easter baskets.  This was an awesome boon because it allowed them to see just how lame those things are.  Yes, it looks like they're just stuffed to bursting, but see?  You get 3 bags of no-name candy and a mangy stuffed animal.  So quit begging.  She was very gracious and gave the giraffe hand puppet (which you can't really get your hand all the way into) to Lily and a bag of jelly beans to Ben.  Who rewarded her by stealing her Airhead taffy later.  But she stole my Ritter Sport chocolate bar so it serves her right.  Clearly we all lived through the Depression and need to horde.  I knew sticking them in the Bread Line would come back to bite me in the ass.

Behind you!  I think I see one!



Then we loaded them and their pile of candy into the van and headed to the grandparents' house.  Since we were just there last weekend, we just did a tactical Passover Strike.  In by Saturday afternoon, eat, out Sunday night, leaving naught but Mandelbrot crumbs in our wake.  Last year our seder with props was a huge hit with the kids, so we wanted to do it again.  So we pulled up, said hello, dumped the kids, and went shopping.  And, success!  For the uninitiated, there comes a time in the seder when the Ten Plagues are discussed.   Moses asks Pharaoh to "let my people go" (sing to yourselves, please) and Pharaoh says "as if" and God sends nasty things to get the point across.  To liven up the seder and distract the kids from the fact that there's no food on the table yet, we started using props.  The first plague was blood--the Nile turns to blood.  So Steve sprayed red silly string all over us.  Second plague is frogs--little plastic frogs are tossed, they land in the wine and water glasses, enhancing the realism.  Third plague is lice--we intended to toss rice and either forgot or it was deemed unkosher for tossing, and tossed farfel instead (a plague of matzoh crumbs!  Uncle!  Take the slaves and get out!). Fourth plague,wild beasts--plastic jungle animals rain down from above.  Fifth plague, cattle disease--we'd wanted one of those noise maker things that emits that very sad "mooo" when you turn it over, but no dice. So Steve just knocked over a few plastic cows.  Plague Six, boils--round stickers applied to our faces.  Seven, hail--little white balls bouncing around the table. Eight, locusts--plastic bugs join the frogs and jungle critters.  Nine, darkness--sunglasses for everyone.  Ten, death of the firstborn...well, not so funny.  I considered telling Julianna she had to slump over, but it seemed macabre, even for me.  And, technically, it was just sons anyway (like Pharoah would care if the girls died.  Please), so only Steve would need to slump.  Anyway.  It was a hit again, but a bit chaotic.  Steve plans to work on it.  In all his spare time.  Which is to say, after we drop off the kids NEXT year.  Pictures!
Julianna asks the Four Questions:


Lily shows us a hailstone.  Note the dead cow in the background.


Ben with blood in his hair (and a nice squishy ball of blood in his hands), and boils on his face, is struck blind.


As usual, I ate too much and shoved dessert in anyway.