So. Bianca. Geez. She gave Kimberly bad walking advice, not b/c Kimberly is something of a monster but b/c she wants to screw her up. And let it be noted that this does not make her "a bad friend." What would, exactly? Beer in the weave? And then she's crabbing about how Heather is getting a "pity leg up." Yipes. Girl better be going home this week.
They go to the "fashion madhouse." Are girls really that scaredy? Would you really, knowing that you were going on a photo shoot, or at worst some challenge, scream like a freak when someone comes towards you? There's a photo crew RIGHT THERE. Clearly you are in no danger. Sure, Miss J makes me a little uneasy, but I don't see the screaming. Their boyfriends aren't there, so they don't need to pretend they need an arm around them. So they have to wear straightjackets and walk down a runway at the same time. Because, as Miss J points out, this sort of thing comes up in the fashion world all the time. Right. And these are just the gals who will be hired for those sorts of shows. Totally. Or MAYBE, MAYBE it's because if they fall off those heels, they won't be able to catch themselves and it will be funny? I will say that I have worn a straightjacket before (shut up. It was for a play), and it is really unsettling to not be able to use your arms. Contender for Quote of the Week from Victoria: " I got into the top history program at Yale, but I can't walk down a runway." Bet the girls from Harvard can walk. Sadly, no one falls over. Total waste of a gimmick. They should have put them on stilts, too.
Awesome. Bianca and Kimberly are lying together (wocka chicka), asking Saleisha about her modeling experience. Saleisha starts to get cranky. Bianca accuses Saleisha of being border-line plus sized(?!) and then accuses her of looking "like a Bratz doll" (um, kettle? pot. [was that racisit?]). Bianca is certain that her mouth will get her "everywhere in this business." Um...okay....that sounds kinda dirty. She then tells her little audience that she will do whatever she needs to including "cutting up clothes." Whooo baby. I take it back. She canNOT go home.
The runway challenge is to model fashions by Colleen Quen. She makes really beautiful, whimsical couture.
The challenge winner gets to go to Paris to walk in Quen's premiere show there. None of them really stood out, but in the end, Saleisha wins it. Bianca dies a little inside. Honestly, I couldn't focus on anything but the asstastic job Roy Campbell was doing as an MC. cheesier than a Wisconsin deli plate.
The photo shoot puts them in climbing rigging, on a climbing wall, wearing gowns and "edgy editorial (read: ugly) makeup." Stoo-pid. Victoria, bless her, says that she felt like "a sea nymph on acid scaling a wall in the sunshine." I think we've all been there. Kimberly commits the sin of being too pretty. Lord knows we don't want that. She says she wants to be "a role model" for the girls with a normal life. Not those clingy ones, for sure. It's one of those moments that make you say, "Have you SEEN this show?" At any point, has a judge said, "She's refreshingly normal!" (answer: no). Heather's shoot is terrific of course, because she's like Rain Man, but with pretty in place of counting cards.
We go to panel. Tyra looks lovely but speaks with a semi-French accent that comes and goes. Miss Jay is sporting the Cosby Kid look again. That horrid Roy Campbell (whose name makes me think of Hee Haw) is the guest judge. I'm worried that if they don't stop fawning over Heather, the other girls are going to poison her. They just don't know what to do with Victoria. She's very serious at panel and asks questions and then goes and takes a good photo. She still looks like a horse, but hey. I do NOT get the Janet love. Pretty mom (provided your mom yanks ass hair for a living), but not model. In the end, however, Bianca and Kimberly (bi-atches!) are the bottom two and Kimberly goes home, even though Tyra really likes her...ears. Yes, her ears.
1 comment:
did you see heather's sketches that they flashed up?
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