Shake it all about

I signed Lily up for a pre-dance class at the Y.  I ache to stick her in a little pink leotard and ballet slippers.  When Julianna was this age, I was Ms. No Gender Stereotyping and stuck her in the Li'l Greasemonkeys Auto Shop for Tots.  Now I figure, Screw it, someone is wearing a tutu and it ain't gonna be me. 

I made the mistake of TELLING her there would be a dance class in her future and every day she asks, "Is today my dance class?"  or just asserts, "Today is my dance class."  Neither of which seems to work.  And "third Monday in September" has very little meaning to an almost 3 year old.  I'm pretty stupid, it seems.

So today, we show up for Ben's usual Monday gym class (which I've forgotten about about 1/4 of the time), and not only are the Harlem Globetrotters there opening a basketball camp ("The REAL Harlem Globetrotters, Mom?!?  They're still ALIVE!"  Just like on Scooby Doo!"), but there's an open house for the dance program.  And Lily's age group meets at precisely the same time as Ben's class.  Woo-hoo!  Mommy actually managed to get to something on time!  Sure, it was totally by accident, but really, that's the only way it's going to happen.

"You mean it's my DANCE CLASS?  ToDAY?  NOW?!?  YAAAAAAYYY!" bounce bounce bounce.  Those who know Lily know that she bounced through this whole delivery and the for some time afterwards.  She's bouncy bouncy,  bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun.  Thank goodness she's the only one.  The little girls streamed in and Miss Becky called them over to sit around her.  Honestly, I don't know how Miss Becky keeps from just exploding from the cuteness.  So they did some circle-timey stuff and did the hokey pokey (augh!  my head!  the cute!).  Then she passed out plastic tambourines.  Which, stupidly, come in a variety of colors, not all of which are pink.  "I want pink!"  "I want pink!"  "I want a pink one!"  Miss Becky calmly asserted that you get what you get and shut the hell up (well, I added that part.  Which is why I don't teach preschoolers ANYTHING.  The judge was very firm on that point).  Then later, they all held hands in a circle and pulled in really close to Miss Becky.  She said, "We're going to blow up the balloon!  We start in close like this and then we'll blow up the balloon bigger and bigger and make our circle wider and wider!  Okay?!" 

"It's a pink balloon!"

"Okay, it'll be a pink balloon.  Okay, ready?"

"I like pink!"

"Right!  Pink balloon!  Okay!"

*sobbed* "But I like puuurrrple!"

another little girl tries to help "We can make it a purple and pink balloon!"

Miss Becky: "Great! Good idea!  Purple and pink balloon!  Let's go!"

"With orange!"

Poor Miss Becky.

They got out a pink balance beam thingy that lay flat on the ground.  Miss Becky said, "This is my bridge!  It goes over a river.  What's in the river?"  Some of the girls who'd had class before shouted "Crocodiles!"  "And what happens if your toes slip off?"  "They bite 'em!!!!!"  Lily headed over to me.  "Mommy.  They have...crocodiles."  The expression on her face said, "Did you look into this program at ALL before signing me up?"  But she gamely trotted right over it.   The Good Job Mom at the end of the beam nearly peed herself "Good JOB!  WOW!"  Lady.  please. 

Shortly after that, my fears were realized and Lily suddenly remembered that I'd promised to get her pink ballet shoes before dance class.  Much sobbing.  Much anger.  And how to explain, "Well, this isn't really the dance class that you've been waiting and waiting for.  Mommy just happily stumbled onto this and had no preparation at all.  Your dance class still isn't for about a month."  We got through it, though.  How I hate public parenting.

After class they were selling used ballet slippers.  We got a pair that more or less fit.  So now she has her pink shoes.  And THAT's what it's all about (clap clap).