It's the professionalism that I admire.

Have I mentioned that I don't like going to the dentist?  Oh, yes, I did.  Well, I still don't.  I had my 6 month check-up (didn't they used to be annual?  Wasn't that enough?) last week and they noticed that one of my crowns was cracked or something.  No idea what, but the upshot is that it had to be fixed.  "It could be a really simple thing and you'll be in and out.  But I could get in there and see you need a whole new crown.  I never know."  You don't?  Aren't you a dentist?  Isn't that your job?  And if it's work that YOU did that needs repairing, shouldn't YOU experience the pain instead of me?

 Generally, I like my dentist.  He's a gangly dork, which I always find endearing.  Totally goofy sense of humor and thinks I'm funny.  So I let him hurt my mouth.  The standard trade-off.  Anyway. Last week, I told him that I'm rather a nervous nellie these days, due to that whole exposed nerve/no novacaine incident.  He assures me that that never should have happened (really?) and they'll numb me up good.  And apparently he made a note of it b/c they were giving me the full mental patient slow-talking today.  "How are you feeling?  Does it hurt when I clip on this bib?"  I'll take it.  I get the shot in my jaw.  (side note:  Like Zaphod Beeblebrox, if I cannot see, I cannot experience stress.  So I wore my glasses instead of my contact lenses and took them off just before they started poking around.  AUGH  here they come!--glasses off--Ahhhh.  I'm safe now.)   Anyway.  Doc tells Assistant that I need to be numb to the middle of my lip before they proceed.

 I get a stack of magazines (put my glasses back on) and they leave me, checking now and again to see how it's going.  One Family Circle, a US News and World Reports, and a Vacations! later, I'm still only numb to the corner of my mouth.  He gives it a go anyway.  Oh yes, I feel it, sir.  He backs off.  I get another shot of the local anesthetic (another note:  he keeps saying he wants me to be "comfortably numb"  I tell him that this is making me hum Pink Floyd.  He says, "oh, well that's why I do it."  Because you totally want this image in your patient's head. The he says, "you know what album that's from?"  The Wall.  duh. "Oh, yeah...it's not Dark Side of the Moon is it?  Did you know there was a movie of that?"  Yeah.  yeah, I did. "So, are you one of those aging rocker chicks?"  Lucky he didn't lose a damned hand.  Rocker chick indeed.). I now have gallons of whatever-acaine in my system. I get the shakes from it, which is nice, but 3/4 of a Better Homes and Gardens later, my lip is numb and they get to work.  It turns out to be the easy scenario, and he's out pretty quickly.

 He says he'll make a note that I get a double hit of the anesthetic.  "With this new stuff, it's really rare that anyone needs a second dose.  But you seem to, at least for the bottom."  I'm unique!  I get some impressions made for a night guard b/c apparently it is my tooth grinding (I grind my teeth?) that is causing my crowns to break and my teeth to fracture.  I get up, head for home, and then my mouth starts to go numb.  It feels like I have someone else's tongue in my mouth.  Along with mine. And not in a sexy sexy way, either.  If I attempt to speak, I end up doing my Bill Cosby routine.  For lunch, I had to have a protein shake b/c I cannot feel my tongue or the inside of my mouth and I was afraid I would eat them.  Seriously people, it is 2 pm and I can only now feel the middle of my lower lip--the injection was at 8:45.  I am only now down to one--albeit one fat one--tongue in my mouth.  So it would seem that I just have a really slow metabolism (You?  But you're so sleek!  It's true, I know, I don't understand it either) and the drugs just don't hit my system very quickly.  But I shall not share this with the dentist.  For I want that double hit.  And the happy gas.  And the Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic PerilSensitive Sunglasses.