We've been watching this since season 1. It's much nicer than most reality shows in that the geeks aren't humiliated (much) and the beauties...well, they bury themselves, really. Because somewhere along the way beauty was translated as "moderately attractive in a totally boring way and very, very stupid." The geeks, however are always full on geeks. Some ugly, some not, all dorky all the time. The high point of geekdom was the guy from Season 2 whose tag line always read "Tracks monkeys with lasers." Never any real explanation. Just "tracks monkeys with lasers." If ever there was a lost opportunity for T-shirt sales, this was it.
This year, the beauty pool features bosoms. Great big bosoms. Purchased at great expense ($8K, Amanda proudly proclaimed, and I'm pretty sure she was paying by the pound), but considered by one of the interchangeable blondes to be "an investment" b/c the amount she'll save in getting free drinks will cover the cost of the boob job. Amanda's big dream is to be a Playboy centerfold. Now admittedly, I haven't seen Playboy in quite some time (and boy do I miss the articles), but I don't think bosoms that cause people to recoil in terror was really the Playboy aesthetic. Jugs, on the other hand, is watching her carefully. As is Knocked-Up and Gun-Toting, but they'll have to wait for her to land a man. Jennifer, bless her heart, is a big ol' Anna Nicole of a gal. Her CW profile says she's at Northeastern U on a rowing scholarship (journalism major, natch). She could totally kick the butt of any of the other contestants. Even the dude with the foam broadsword. I was all hating on her until she got paired up with a geek who was scared to death of her. All she could see was that he clearly didn't want to be with her (we, the all knowing audience had heard him say he was skeered), and she just murmured, "Sorry you got stuck with me." It was so raw and sad that now I'm pulling for her. My current favorite is Jasmine. She has this weird baby-on-a-pack-a-day voice and is just gleefully stupid. I'm sure I'll switch alliances once it gets going, though. I'm fickle like that.
The geek pool usually features one Super Geek, always trying to achieve the astonishing level of geekhood reached by Season One's Richard. This season's Richard is Joshua, not to be confused with Josh who is actually kind of cute and is in a Rubberband Club. There's always a tool, who will be played this season by David. David is a "LARPer" which means he dresses up in his D&D costume and tears around a field whapping his friends with a broadsword made of foam. Patton Oswalt plays him on Reno 911. And truthfully? I think it sounds kinda fun. Unfortunately, most LARPers are Comic Book Guy losers like David. This season's guy-you-want-to-put-in-your-pocket is Tony who is, of course, Asian. Adorable. He wears a bowtie. Will is fat and balding and wears a flack vest and makes me sad. William is skinny and has enormous ears and makes me sad. Luke? I'm calling Luke Hedgie b/c of his hair. That makeover show cannot come fast enough for him.
You'll note that I've not mentioned this year's "twist"--they've tossed in a geeky girl and a stupid-but-good-looking boy. I didnt' mention it b/c I don't care. The girl will get a sexy librarian taking down her hair makeover (Miss Yakamoto! You're beautiful!" And the boy looks like a serial killer and is actually an actor with a lengthy entry on IMDB. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. Even if he WAS on Veronica Mars.
The highlight of this casting episode was watching the girls answer questions. Like "What was the last book you read?" "Well, I haven't done much reading since I started college..." "Who was the first man on the moon?" "Lance Armstrong!" But my favorite moment was when Joshua got so tongue-tied when faced with a room full of boobs and hair that his called his mom and put her on speaker phone so that she could tell them how great he is. Awesome. We anxiously await the next installment. Life before reality show TV was hollow indeed.
Once upon a time, a blog was started at AOL Journals. The scales fell from the eyes of The Creator and it was moved to Wordpress. Then Journals tanked and all old posts were moved here for safekeeping.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
If I were not married and pregnant, I would absolutely consider dating Josh or Tony. But mostly Josh because he has a 5.0 at MIT. And he's cute. Tony is endlessly hug-able.
I don't care much for the geek girl/hot guy either, but when they *revealed* the twist, your brother said, "oh my gosh, it's Deana!" I don't know how much of a cut that really was because I honestly didn't see her at all. I couldn't take my eyes off that trainwreck of a "man". Isn't he a little young to look so... Siegfried and Roy-esque?
Brent is obviously trying to get me back for years of referring to Turk from Scrubs as "Black Brent."
Post a Comment