Showdogs and Showmoms

Oh, such a day.  Today was the first 4-H dog show for Julianna and Fredo.  Unfortunately, Fredo had been at the kennel from Thursday afternoon until 8:30 this morning.  He was not, as Cesar Millan would say, "calm submissive."  He was more..."spastic nerfbag."  Like, release a man from prison and send him straight to a cotillion.  "Woo-hoo!  It's Julianna!  Hey! Mulch!  Omigod!  Dogs!  I LOVE dogs! oh, oh!  mulch! Yipee!" 

When we arrived at the fairgrounds, the other girls (for they are all girls) were grooming their dogs.  One teenager with a cocker spaniel had the full grooming table with hair dryer stand.  She was hard-core.  Once she had the ears just so, she put these orange wrappers on them so that the dog looked like it had carrots for ears.  There was a Sussex Spaniel trotting around with a head scarf on to protect her ear job. She looked like a turn of the century polish immigrant (turn to the 20th.  Not from.) Everyone was grooming, stroking, polishing.  Julianna appeared to be hauling in a marlin. 

Her first event was "Fitting and Showing," for which she's been attending practice on Sundays.  She's learned the patterns of the ring and how to "stack" the dog and so forth.  Fredo has gotten better, but the ring is not in his blood.  I keep telling her that even if he was the best show dog on earth (cough), he's not going to take Westminster.  He's a mutt.  Furthermore, he's a spaz.  We'd thought there'd only be one other kid in the event, Bridget.  She's been coming to practices too and we don't like her or her mom.  Her dog's okay.  Mini dachshund, mostly useless.  When the kids are practicing, the mom natters on and on about all the lessons and things Bridget is in.  I doubt the child has a moment to herself.  She's awkward and annoying.  I'm sure I should feel pity, but...meh.  I don't like her.  Anyway, turns out the Sussex Spaniel in the headscarf is showing under two handlers, one of whom is a first time-junior, too.  The dog is clearly a show ring veteran and about 800 years old.

They entered the ring, first Bridget and Libby, then New Girl and Old Dog, then Julianna and Fredo.  If I didn't know it was killing her, I'd have found it hilarious.  ADHD dog hits the ring.  Like any parent with a "spirited" child, I"m sure it just shows how much smarter he is.  He has more interesting things to do that trot in a triangle pattern and look pretty.  Honestly, I'm just glad he didn't bite the judge or crap in the ring.  Julianna was just in tears by the end.  Absolutely sobbing.  Bridget offered, "When MY dog messes up, I don't get upset."  I glanced at her and snarled "Thanks, Nellie."   I probably should have been the grown up.  Julianna's third place ribbon was just soaked.
Julianna, trying in vain to "stack" Fredo:


To Julianna's credit, she still wanted to do the obedience event, and Fredo did much better.  He didn't manage a settle (no real shocker), but he did a good sit stay, which was enough to kick Libby's butt.  Take THAT!  Second place.
Here she is going into the obedience ring behind that win-ny pants spaniel:


We had to light out of there and head off to get Lily to her dress rehersal for tomorrow's dance recital.  She takes lessons at the Y, but apparently they have one of the best dance programs in the area, so the recital is a Big Deal.  Not at the 3 and 4 year old level of course.  We expect them to do little more than tiptoe around and pick their noses on stage.  But there are so many classes that there are two acts for the little kids and a full evening program for the teens.  And it's held at the old theater downtown. A shindig, it is.  And, as one might expect, it was screaming yellow chaos.

It has always seemed to me, that in such situations, the thing to do is be patient and kind and smile at everyone with a "boy this is nuts!" look and go for a "we're all in this together" vibe.  Not everyone shares this philosophy it seems.  Many of the moms were quite nasty.  There were "dance bears" to be had--cheap teddy bears dressed in crappy costumes.  Each was different, and thus some must be better than others.  The Filene's Basement sale grabbiness was appalling (as an aside, if you pronouce it as Fellini's Basement, you can amuse yourself.  But no one else, oddly).  Then, when Lily's group FINALLY wenton (an hour late), I wanted to get closer to videotape it.  I went to sit in an empty seat in the front row.  A girl said, "That's my mom's seat."  I smiled and said, "I just want to tape this bit.  My daughter is in it.  Then I'll scoot."  The mom then showed up and said, "that's my SEAT." in a tone one might use for "That's my HUSBAND."  I smiled and explained to her and she repeated, "That's my SEAT."  ooookay.  lordy.  As it happens, I think I taped with no tape in the recorder.  d'oh.  But loook:

Stupid cow was just jealous that I have the cutest girl there.  So neener neener.