Pack your bags y'all, we're goin' to MILAN!

Steve turned 40 on Friday.  A big birthday calls for big plans.  We can't afford a sports car and I've nixed the mistress thing unless he can find one that cooks and cleans for us.  So, like anyone facing down a mid-life crisis, Steve decided to go to Cedar Point.  He was so excited when he finally thought of something he wanted to do.  And we thought "Surely, in mid-October, on the coast of Lake Erie, the park will be deserted."  Oh no.  It's their busiest time.  We thought we were back to the drawing board for a way to spend the weekend, but Steve made a call and discovered the VIP package.  We'd get a primo parking space, front-of-the-line access to all the rides, and a guide.  All that remained was finding a hotel room.

For whatever reason, Sandusky seems to have only resorts and no-tell motels.  The closest thing to normal is a Hampton inn and that was full.  But what do you know?  Milan is only 20 minutes away!  And it has a Hampton Inn!


So, not only do we get VIP treatment at the park, but we get to stay in Milan, a fashion capital?  Sweet! 

Our first clue that this was not as it seemed was when we pulled off the Turnpike and asked how to get to Milan.  Blank stare.  "Oh, MILE-in?"  It's right there, a gesture points out our hotel's sign, very visible from the toll booth.  Hm.  Well, it's late, we'll check in and then explore the fabulousness tomorrow.

So, we got up, had a fabulous continental breakfast (it IS Milan, after all) of instant oatmeal in a styrofoam bowl, and headed out to see if there was a WalMart in Milan.  Thought maybe we'd spot some models in the meantime.  There didn't seem to be any in our hotel.  Unless they were modeling for "People--Midwest edition".  There WAS a sign for boots for 17 dollars outside the Walmart.  But they didn't seem to be that Italian leather I've heard so much about...Has Milan gone vegan?  And again, where are the models?  We saw this, which suggested they were near:


Didn't see them in Panera, either.  All the latest fashions from Blair and Alfred Dunner.
But the models.  Where are they?  We head back to the hotel, dispirited.  And then, we spotted it:


I'm sure they were all inside having pillow fights and throwing up the tic tac they had for breakfast.

Okay, okay, on to the park (but honestly, we got more humor mileage out of staying in Milan...totally worth the turnpike view).  We had a guide from 3-midnight.  We got to the park about 1 pm, so we just meandered.  Cedar Point is all done up for the HalloWeekends, so it was fun to look around.  We took the Sky Ride and I mentioned that when we used to come there as teens, we'd joke about how funny it would be to crash a sky ride car in one of the wooded areas you go over and have skeletons sticking out of it.  Well, the ride doesn't go over woods anymore, but they took my advice!

It's the graveyard of rides that have passed.  Kind of fun to see which ones I remembered from back in the day had gone on to that big midway in the sky.  But I was THRILLED that Cedar Downs was still there.  My cousin Karleen and I used to perch on those horses, jockey-style, and urge them to victory.  Steve actually CHOSE a short-tailed horse (freak) and I hopped up on my palomino.  I named him Gold Dust.



Stupid short tail horse won, though.  Cheater.

At 3, we went over to guest services and met BB, known as Evelyn, our guide.  She was perfect.  Friendly, gave advice when asked but totally let us steer the way, and, best of all, was willing to ride the rides.  Steve is more willing to get on things that are trying to kill him than I am.  I rode Wicked Twister as our first official ride and that nearly sidelined me right there.  I let Steve and BB get on Max Air.  Here they are, all smiley:


Here's a night shot of the ride, showing the sane people why my feet stayed on the ground:

Exactly.  No flippin' way.

I also declined the Power Tower, described on the website thusly:

"Power Tower is a 300-foot-tall, state-of-the-art adrenaline factory that features two towers which launch you up 240 feet and two towers which blast you down at speeds of up to 60 mph"

Uh huh. Good luck with that folks.  I also sat out this little gem:



420 feet tall.  120 mph.  Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?  Steve and BB rode it 4 or 5 times, though.  "Oh it's so fast, it's over before you have time to worry."  yeah.  I didn't buy it either.

I did ride this, though.  And it was FUN.


Here's the flattering proof:



And many more.  Steve thinks he hit around 35 rides.  I rode 6 different roller coasters and was considered a huge wimp.  But is this the face of a wimp?



Actually, it looks like a last-known-photo...picture of a picture, you know.

It was awesome.  Most of the coasters had a 2-2.5 hour wait.  We got right on.  At first, I felt a little bad for sitting down where some kid had waited so long to sit.  But then I remembered, he only has to wait one minute more.  Stuff it, punk.

I must attend the squids....more later.