How to play while sleeping

Same story every night.  Parents are beat, used up, shattered, worthless.  Kids want to PLAY.  Tonight is Friday night, which means Steve will be home...eventually.   Lily, who woke many, many times last night, has been a bit weepy and rather 3.  But she really wants to play a game.  I really don't.

"Pweeeeeze!  You pwomised!!"

"I did no such thing."

"Yes you did!!!"

(crap, did I?  I mean, she natters at me while I'm doing other things and I say things like "uh huh" and "sure" without really hearing or remembering) "I"m not playing a game."

tears.  Then: "Can play my magic tricks?"

Oh yes, THAT I can play.  This "game" means that I lay on the bed while she does "magic tricks"--namely,  she leaps and spins and flops on the bed.  My only role is to say, "Wow!" and cringe when it looks like she's going to land on my head.  Not only does she feel like we're playing a game together, she gets tired.  Whee!

Magic Tricks evolves into Peek-a-boo 401: Senior Seminar.  She's 3 now, so she doesn't go for the ol' hands over the face peek-a-boo anymore.  Well, not often.  Now, I have to pretend to sleep (not a stretch) and periodically peep up over a pillow with one eye.  And you know what's best?  She likes it even more if I make it suspenseful by stretching out the time in between peeks.  If I can get the space long enough, I might catch up on my sleep yet.  So I'm peeking and she's giggling and suddenly goes:

"Oh no!  We woke up the Indians!" (the hell?  where did THAT come from?  And are we talking Ghandi or Tonto Indians here?)

"Well," I say,"We'd better make them some coffee or they're going to be grumpy."

"I think they'd like tea instead.  I'll go make it.  You stay here."  no problemo.
She comes back with a pillow.  "Oh, they liked the tea.  They're happy now."
  Again, she's scurrying around, playing with mom and I'm just laying there, beat. Win-win.

Which reminds me of me of the other low effort/ high reward parent game, I've been meaning to write it down for ages, so that I can weep over the memory when I'm old...Lumpy Pillow.  This one's been a huge hit for a few years.  Kid hides under some bedding (and by "hides" I mean "sticks face under"), parent comes in and says in a theatrical voice "I am SO tired.  I think I'll just lay down. " Yaaaawwwn and lay down on kid, who giggles, albeit muffled-ly. "This pillow is SO lumpy!" plump up "pillow", tickling child in process.  Kid giggles more.  "WHAT?!?  That's no lumpy pillow!  That's Julianna! (or Ben! or Lily! or whatever your kids' name is!)"  They could do this until they cracked a rib.  And parent gets a wee snooze, even if the pillow IS a bit lumpy.