Please, no ball lofting.

So, the day after my birthday, I wanted to go roller skating.  I haven't skated in years, and haven't been to a rink since I lived in Germany.  There, we had this great rink with both in-line and regular skates.  And steps.  And half-pipes.  And a trampoline.  It seems there are no liability laws in Germany.  It was awesome.  But I'd have settled for some good old-fashion skating around in a circle, listening to bad pop music....with my comb in my back pocket...feathered hair blowing back...  But I need to get back my skating chops, b/c I totally want in on this action.  I think a roller derby team made up entirely of moms who don't physically punish their kids would kick ASS.  Imagine the pent-up rage and hostility.  I'll be working on my roller name.  I will ROCK that satin jacket, my friends.

Annnyway....the roller rink was closed with no explanation.  But the duckpin bowling place next door was open.  So that's where we went.  For you people unlucky enough to live far from Baltimore, duckpins are squat little bowling pins that you knock down with a little cannonball-sized ball.  It's cooler than bowling.  I know, but really.  It is.  See?  Same cool shoes:


Same riveting scoreboard action:


Same incredibly awesome dedication to 1950s design:


But here?  Funny signs.



Seriously, how can you beat THAT?

ETA:  Lily, by the way, didn't so much bowl as release the balls into the lane.  She'd sort of set them down and nudge them toward freedom.  The balls, for their part, were ambivalent about the whole thing,  and kind of meandered up the lane, occasionally bonking into a pin, but just as often dropping into the gutter.  Which would be expected from an almost 5 year old, but we had the bumpers up to prevent gutter balls (we are AMAZING at bowling with the bumpers up!).  She managed to get gutter balls anyway.  Each time, she'd crouch down, set the ball down with a little nudge, and then turn and hide her face in my stomach, the suspense being too much to take.  "Tell me when it knocks one down!"  Okay honey, but we have a while.  Would you like me to sing Alice's Restaurant for you, in the meantime?