Happy Birthday to Lily

My baby is 3 today!  It's the first time I've had a three year old without having an infant, too.  Maybe that will make 3 less evil?  Maybe?  Who am I kidding?  Three year olds are demented, it's not my fault.

I took her to Target this morning to pick out a My Little Pony.  Because I'm a sucker, I bought two, Hidden Treasures and Sand Dollar.   In the back seat on the way home, the ponies were talking to each other, "So, Dollar Store, what do you want to do today?"  Somehow "Dollar Store" doesn't seem as magical as most pony names...  Dollar Store, Walmart, Liquor Store, Cigarette Singles...

Since she's three today, Lily has been periodically shouting "I'm Free!' which causes me to launch into the guitar riff from "Tommy."  "Why you do dat, Mommy?"  Fish gotta swim, baby, fish gotta swim.

Prom 1985

Lookit how cute I was.  And the dress.  Once it fit, but it was no less garish.

the photos

Hey look!  I was still able to get into my prom dress!



But, uh, this is the back view...



Early 80s hoop skirt dresses are really good for smuggling children.  Not that many people WANTED to smuggle kids into a prom, but still.  The option was there.





here's me in the pink skirt.  But I was alone in the house with no one to chronicle my wondrousness.  So you get the flash in the mirror.  It gives me an angelic cast, I think.



Here's me and Bill, the old boyfriend.  Look how we're totally Not Touching:



Admire the necklace there, too.  Made it that afternoon.  And the day before.  It took a long time.

And here's me with Christy, my best friend from high school.  When I looked at this picture, I thought, "Crap.  that totally looks like a photo from someone's 20 year high school reunion."



And this has nothing at all to do with the reunion, but look how cuuuute:

Reunion Weekend Part Two

I went with the pink skirt.  I was slightly overdressed, but not notably so.  And it was worth it to have my imaginary friends with me, since a computer friend in Ohio had lent me the skirt.  I was even able to wear my shoes the whole time, impressive considering that it has been YEARS since I wore any sort of heel at all.  I won't be saving up for Jimmy Choos any time soon, but at least I have a pair of girly shoes I can call up when I need them.  Pictures when I get back home...

Most commonly heard phrase last night: This is so surreal.  And it was strange.  It's weird to see people at 18, blink, and they're nearly 40.  Which, apparently, means I got old too.  Less hair, more belly.  Except for THOSE girls, you know the ones, they have more hair and less belly.  I don't like those girls.  I saw one woman I'd been friendly with and I told her she looked great b/c she did.  She said, "Oh, I do not, I know I got fat."  I told her that I wasn't impressed by people who had clearly been working at their look.  I said, "You look like a grown-up woman who still looks great."  I thought she was going to hug me.  And then she returned the compliment by saying "Where do you live now?" and when I told her, she said, "REally?  I thought you must live in a city because you look so chic."  So we're in love now.

Speaking of which...My old boyfriend showed up.  He graduated two years ahead of me, so it was extra freaky to have him show.  He just dropped into say hi.  He was head drum major, I was in the band front as a pom pom girl...how very very high school.  It was nice to see him, let him see that I was no longer a lithesome lass with long blonde tresses.  So just get on with your life, dude.  Really.

Odd thing at reunions--having people tell stories about you and you don't remember what on earth they're talking about.  I did?  Really?  Me?  You're sure it was me?  And then someone else backs up the story.  Memory is strange.  What each of us recalls about the chorus trip to Disney might actually reconstruct the whole trip, if we got together.  But I did NOT remember people getting beer.  There was a lot of underage drinking of which I was not a part.  I was a Good Girl. I had only one sip of alcohol--champagne at Gabi's house on New Year's Eve.  That's it.  But, judging from the slide show, there was a lot of partying.  Turns out I was much less popular than I thought.  But I didn't know at the time, so I guess it's okay.  Hmpf.  Losers didn't know what they were missing.

The awards presentation went really well.  Well enough that Troy, who'd backed out of being the emcee, told Barbara that it was very well received and he wished he'd done it after all.  Neener neener, you big coward.  And the worthless waste of air that I remain bitter about and was very careful to give NO award to, b/c she's had far more than her share of attention in life?  Still a horrible bitch.  Only without feathered hair.  I received validation when today, at the family breakfast and tour of the high school, Steve said, "Wow that woman in the white shirt, with the little girl in a red dress is a terrible mother."  yep, that was her.  Telling a 2 year old that she was going to leave her in this really mean tone.  See?  I told you.  Me and Harry Potter.  We know evil when we see it, even if no one else believes.

The tour of the high school was odd.  Three years ago the school was basically gutted and built anew.  It's MUCH nicer than the high school I attended.  Hell, it's nicer than the college I attended.  Except for one thing.  The library has almost no books.  What is up with that?  It's a library.  The Latin root MEANS books.  Rows and rows of computers.  It pisses me off.  Does that make me some kind of luddite?  I mean, books are books and computers are computers.  There is some overlap, sure, but they aren't the same.  Reading is nice.  I don't think they had ANY fiction.  That just sucks.

I'll post pics soon...

 

 

Reunion weekend Part One

So I'm all alone at my folks house. Steve and the kids are at the ILs house in NJ.  Tonight is my 20 year high school reunion.  I went to an ice breaker thing at a sports bar last night.  soooo hard to recognize people you only half-knew 20 years ago.  I met my friend Mimi and her beau, Gary.  They're college professors in Washington state, so they're still cool.  At one point, Gary asked us if we noticed any old high school behaviors manifesting in the crowd. I looked around..."Well, just the fact that Mimi and I are at a table by ourselves making fun of everyone else..." 

I was put in charge of the "awards" part of the evening, so I studied the survey responses and came up w/some awards and then wrote a script to go with it. It was hard, really, to write something funny for a diverse audience.  I can't be too mean, but too nice just isn't funny.  I have new respect for Bruce Villanch. The guy who was going to be the presenter decided that the script was "too mean."  The other reunion committee people also thought it was funny, so they didn't just say, fine, make it up yourself.  They offered to clear the awards with the recipients before announcing them.  Still no dice.  So I'm doing it.  Ahem.  I'm going to need a martini in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  "Hey you guys.  I jus' wanna say that I hate all of you.  And I've been waiting 20 years for this!"

I'm hoping it will be fun.  I listened to the 80s mix CD Barbara burned to give out this evening.  I'm in charge of the "memoribilia" room, so I'm excused from having to mingle or dance.  Yay.  No I just have to finish making my necklace and decide between the little black dress and the big pink silk skirt...

 

Shake it all about

I signed Lily up for a pre-dance class at the Y.  I ache to stick her in a little pink leotard and ballet slippers.  When Julianna was this age, I was Ms. No Gender Stereotyping and stuck her in the Li'l Greasemonkeys Auto Shop for Tots.  Now I figure, Screw it, someone is wearing a tutu and it ain't gonna be me. 

I made the mistake of TELLING her there would be a dance class in her future and every day she asks, "Is today my dance class?"  or just asserts, "Today is my dance class."  Neither of which seems to work.  And "third Monday in September" has very little meaning to an almost 3 year old.  I'm pretty stupid, it seems.

So today, we show up for Ben's usual Monday gym class (which I've forgotten about about 1/4 of the time), and not only are the Harlem Globetrotters there opening a basketball camp ("The REAL Harlem Globetrotters, Mom?!?  They're still ALIVE!"  Just like on Scooby Doo!"), but there's an open house for the dance program.  And Lily's age group meets at precisely the same time as Ben's class.  Woo-hoo!  Mommy actually managed to get to something on time!  Sure, it was totally by accident, but really, that's the only way it's going to happen.

"You mean it's my DANCE CLASS?  ToDAY?  NOW?!?  YAAAAAAYYY!" bounce bounce bounce.  Those who know Lily know that she bounced through this whole delivery and the for some time afterwards.  She's bouncy bouncy,  bouncy bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun.  Thank goodness she's the only one.  The little girls streamed in and Miss Becky called them over to sit around her.  Honestly, I don't know how Miss Becky keeps from just exploding from the cuteness.  So they did some circle-timey stuff and did the hokey pokey (augh!  my head!  the cute!).  Then she passed out plastic tambourines.  Which, stupidly, come in a variety of colors, not all of which are pink.  "I want pink!"  "I want pink!"  "I want a pink one!"  Miss Becky calmly asserted that you get what you get and shut the hell up (well, I added that part.  Which is why I don't teach preschoolers ANYTHING.  The judge was very firm on that point).  Then later, they all held hands in a circle and pulled in really close to Miss Becky.  She said, "We're going to blow up the balloon!  We start in close like this and then we'll blow up the balloon bigger and bigger and make our circle wider and wider!  Okay?!" 

"It's a pink balloon!"

"Okay, it'll be a pink balloon.  Okay, ready?"

"I like pink!"

"Right!  Pink balloon!  Okay!"

*sobbed* "But I like puuurrrple!"

another little girl tries to help "We can make it a purple and pink balloon!"

Miss Becky: "Great! Good idea!  Purple and pink balloon!  Let's go!"

"With orange!"

Poor Miss Becky.

They got out a pink balance beam thingy that lay flat on the ground.  Miss Becky said, "This is my bridge!  It goes over a river.  What's in the river?"  Some of the girls who'd had class before shouted "Crocodiles!"  "And what happens if your toes slip off?"  "They bite 'em!!!!!"  Lily headed over to me.  "Mommy.  They have...crocodiles."  The expression on her face said, "Did you look into this program at ALL before signing me up?"  But she gamely trotted right over it.   The Good Job Mom at the end of the beam nearly peed herself "Good JOB!  WOW!"  Lady.  please. 

Shortly after that, my fears were realized and Lily suddenly remembered that I'd promised to get her pink ballet shoes before dance class.  Much sobbing.  Much anger.  And how to explain, "Well, this isn't really the dance class that you've been waiting and waiting for.  Mommy just happily stumbled onto this and had no preparation at all.  Your dance class still isn't for about a month."  We got through it, though.  How I hate public parenting.

After class they were selling used ballet slippers.  We got a pair that more or less fit.  So now she has her pink shoes.  And THAT's what it's all about (clap clap).

Beat the holiday rush

The plunger remains the hot toy in this household.  It has, of course,  been a gun and a sword (what hasn't?).  Ben turned it into a horse by sticking the plungy end into a metal bucket for a "head."  Lily used it as a magic wand (bippity boppity e coli!) .  They argue over who gets it next.  All this for only $1.99!

For those of you who are cringing, I'm reasonably certain that the plunger has never been used for...plunging.  I bought it for the upstairs bathroom when we moved into this fancy pants two-bath house.  Captain Toilet Paper conducts his business downstairs, so I can't recall a clog in the upstairs toilet (for whatever reason, I'm suddenly reminded of when I first moved to Delaware as a kid and was confused to find that people called the toilet a "hopper."  Do they do that anywhere else?).  I'm sure it's clean enough to drink out of.